This cookie comes with a story and I'll never see it again without feeling sad.

When we took the photograph last year, it wasn't long after October 7. The pain was raw.

We'd chosen to go with a star of David theme to our Chanukah recipes out of solidarity with Israel. A challah, mini sufganyot and this cookie were all six-pointed stars.

However, we were struggling with how to shoot the cookie. I can’t remember why — perhaps a gift I’d taken for the children of our lovely Israel photographer, Inbal — but we had a huge bag of white chocolate buttons.  
Inbal, suggested that we lay out the same number of buttons as there were hostages and picture the cookie on that.

We carefully counted out the 251 and arranged them on the table, steering the photographer's toddler away so he didn't grab any and shove them in his mouth. It felt a tiny way of marking what was going on in Israel. 

There's a time lag between us shooting a photo and me receiving it ready to print. Inbal has to tidy the image up a bit - the colour and light etc. And even during what must have been no more than a week or two we’d lost some of those precious souls and the number of buttons was out of date.

I think some may have been released - the exact dates are a blur but a few were returned to their families in late November.

We wrestled with whether to publish the photo as it was no longer accurate, but as only we knew the significance of the buttons, we went ahead. In the shot you see some have been cropped off by the layout we have to use on our website. 

What breaks my heart seeing this image today (and every day) is knowing how many have been murdered in the last year and remembering their stories.

Photo: Inbal Bar-Oz

Equally unbearable is the number STILL captive in the most awful circumstances as we again light our Chanukah candles in our safe, warm homes. Another year in which their relatives — spouses, children and parents — can only wait. I'll be praying (again) that they are returned alive and as well as they can be to their homes.

You’ll find the full recipe here.