Dating trends come and go, but one that seems like it’s here to stay is ghosting. For the lucky few who aren’t familiar with the term, it is that nasty experience of when the person you are dating cuts off all communication with zero warning.. Forget a relationship petering out, or receiving a break-up message. Ghosting means almost literally becoming a ghost.
Ghosting is a brutal dating trend but it has become scarily normal in today’s dating game. The dating apps, for all their greatness and success stories have not helped. In fact, the apps create the unfortunate illusion that not replying to someone’s message is acceptable. This attitude is then subconsciously applied to people you’ve been on one date with, five dates with, been seeing for a few months perhaps… and before you know it, you are ghosting friends and family too.
Quite frankly, I’ve always thought that people who ghost are the type of people who make a restaurant booking and then don’t show up. Inherently lazy, they are cowards who would prefer to avoid confrontation than speak their truth. Evidently, I am fuming for all ‘ghostees’ and I am past the point of making excuses for the ‘ghosters’. Radio silence is rude. And don’t forget, the Jewish bubble we live in is smaller than you think and the reality is that you are going to see those you’ve ghosted around North West London. Nobody wants that reputation.
Rejection is uncomfortable, I hear that. It is hard letting someone down and it is equally as hard to receive the brush off, but fundamentally, it is a huge part of dating and in a broader sense, it is simply a part of life. Being a decent person by sending that message or picking up the phone is a classy and respectful way of ending things. I always tell my clients to save a draft message that you can use as your go-to message after a date if you don’t want to take it further. Ultimately, what goes around comes around. If you are prepared to ghost people and be part of the problem that has normalised this dating trend then I’m sure you’ll be absolutely fine when the tables turn.
I hate to say it, but there is a ghosting pandemic in the dating world right now. Whilst I am passionately here for the uncomfortable conversations and will always guide friends and clients on how to handle them face on, I simply can’t save anyone from getting ghosted. It is a form of rejection that stings, and you can’t quite prepare yourself for it but when it happens, try to hold your head up high and remember, it says more about the ghost and their own insecurities. The disappearing act is simply a symptom of their lack of communication skills and whilst it may not be the closure you deserve, find peace within it and move on.
