When I set up my dating agency, I dreamt of the day a successful match would get into a relationship, become engaged and eventually, get married. What I didn’t think about was the possibility that singletons I’d set up would start dating each other and ultimately get into a relationship, but they wouldn’t quite make it all the way.
I’ve experienced a fair few matchmaking breakups across the last year-and-a-half. Whilst I don’t feel the heartache that my clients are going through, I can empathise with this part of the search for your soulmate. Although each individual handles breakups differently, it is important to register that every breakup will manifest itself and play out uniquely. Here are five types of breakups and how you can get over them:
The no contact breakup
It takes every muscle inside you to not press send on that message you’ve spent days crafting. Although some feel this is the most brutal of breakups it is the epitome of maturity and respect for each other to let the end of the relationship be finite.
The breadcrumb breakup
Breadcrumbing is a modern dating term that is the act of sending out flirtatious but non-committal social signs. To put it bluntly, it is misleading someone. It sends your ex mixed messages but some find it comforting to keep speaking, despite knowing deep down you are delaying the inevitable.
The door’s been left open breakup
They might not be Mr Right Now but they could be Mr Right Eventually. This sort of breakup fusions those with commitment phobia with those who have met the right person at the wrong place and time in their lives. Both are problematic but time heals all wounds and what’s for you won’t go by you so if you’re meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other in this lifetime one way or another.
The rebound breakup
You’re back on the dating apps before you’ve even told your friends and family that you are back on the market. JSwipe, Hinge, Thursday, Tinder, you name the dating app and your profile is set up and you’re ready to mingle. You have a date lined up every night of the week because to get over someone, you need to get under someone — or at least opposite someone.
The glow-up breakup
Whether you set up your own business, change your hair colour, wardrobe or hit the gym to get yourself a six pack, the post breakup glow-up is transforming yourself. It is the art of working on yourself and taking self-care seriously.
Whichever way you handle your breakup, there are no rules or regulations. The best piece of breakup advice I have ever been given is that it is better to be on your own then be with the wrong person. Sometimes those who fly solo have the strongest of wings.
Aimee Belchak dreamed up her own matchmaking business, The A-gency, in lockdown. She sets up London based Jewish singles aged 22-36 years old on blind dates every month. Aimee has her own podcast, Yente Tells All and she’s on Instagram @AimeeBelchak. Send her your questions at aimee@thea-gency.uk
