Me & You: Emily Schrader and Yoseph Haddad 'We argued about saying ‘I love you’ - The Jewish Chronicle

Emily Schrader was born in Los Angeles and made aliyah seven years ago. She runs a digital marketing agency and is a prominent social media activist for Israel. The 30-year-old also works for Vouch for Each Other, an organisation set up to promote peaceful dialogue between Jews and Arabs in Israel. Its founder, Yoseph Haddad, 36, an Arab Israeli who was born in Haifa but grew up in Nazareth, is also a prominent speaker about Israel, going to parliaments and university campuses around the world. The pair got engaged in May last year and the JC caught up with them on a speaking tour of the UK and Ireland.

Emily on Yoseph

Yoseph will always say I came on to him first but he’s lying — he’s all ego, that one! I invited him to a work networking event because I knew of his organisation and I thought he would make a good client.

Yes, I thought he was cute, but I realised I liked him when we started arguing about Israeli politics. I am very competitive and a very good debater. He is also very, very good at debate because he is well-researched and incredibly articulate. We met again at another work event and we pretty much spent the entire time arguing. And then we had an argument about who had won the argument.

I found it attractive and asked if he could teach me Arabic. I still don’t speak Arabic. In the early days he would find a lot of excuses to pop into my place. He’d call and say, “I’m in Tel Aviv today, want to meet?” and things really took off from there.

I realised what a lovely man he was when he did something very mundane but wonderful when we were still just friends. I had recently moved and had six boxes of books stored at a friend’s house in Jerusalem. Not only did he randomly volunteer to pick them up for me but then he took me to IKEA, and even built a bookshelf for me. He was doing serious boyfriend duties without even being my boyfriend and that’s kind of when I fell in love with him.

Yoseph Haddad and Emily Schrader

Yoseph Haddad and Emily Schrader in London

In typical fashion we argued about who was going to say “I love you” first. We went back and forth for about 40 minutes with him saying, “You know you are in love with me”. And I would say, “No, you are in love with me”.

Yoseph is very passionate about everything he does. He has a lot of energy and is — unlike me — a bit of an extrovert. He is committed to his work which in part promotes co-existence and he also goes around the world describing what life is like for Israeli Arabs — he brings nuance into a world which often ignores the existence of his community.

Growing up, I never thought much about Israel. Generally American families are pretty supportive of Israel. It was only when I went to the University of Southern California as an undergraduate that I realised how anti-Israel people were — how they were obsessed with it. I realised then that the obsession wasn’t proportionate to what was happening on the ground.

That’s what led to me speaking out more and more on the subject.
Over time, I’ve seen antisemitism being ramped up online. Some of it is anti-Zionism, must of it is straight-up Jew hatred. I’ve worked with the Ministry of Strategic Affairs in Israel to advise them how to approach the issue and I lot of what I do is educating people about what antisemitism is.

I’m lucky that I have found someone with the same values as me. Watching Yoseph do things like talk about the Holocaust to a group of UAE dignitaries and seeing them tell him how they finally understood how bad it was, for the first time, is inspiring.

We share a lot of the same values and we want to educate people about what life is really like in Israel. We also work together on this amazing organisation which brings communities together. But I laugh at how I wanted to have him as a client and, somehow, I have now ended up working with him for free.

Yoseph on Emily

She came on to me first, of course she did. But within three months of knowing Emily I already knew that I wanted to marry her.

Emily is one of the cleverest people I’ve ever met in my life. She is also caring and honest. Very honest. She is brilliant at giving me advice and because of the kind of work that I do – that can often mean going into hostile spaces – I really need someone that I can listen to and who I can rely on. Although in some ways we come from different worlds, our backgrounds are also quite similar. We come from good homes with good parents. We share a lot of the same values.

I think the moment I realised I was in love was in our early days of dating and it was my birthday. She’d got me these cupcakes which had different photos of the two of us on and she’d ordered these cakes that were all my favourite flavours. And I also love her singing voice; it is this amazing hidden talent. Her voice calms me down.

Yoseph Haddad and Emily Schrader

As part of our Vouch for Each Other activities we held a ceremony on Yom HaZikoron in an Arab village — specifically remembering the fallen Arab members of the IDF — and soon after we met she sang a stunning song in Arabic for it which was incredibly emotional for everyone who was lucky enough to be there.

While I am a Christian Arab, being Israeli is a big part of my identity. When I grew up, I would play football with Jews, Christians, Muslims, Druze, and when I saw some of them getting ready to go into the army, I wanted to do it too even though Arabs don’t have to. The IDF protects all its citizens — when Hamas and Hezbollah are attacking, they are attacking all of its citizens.

Their missiles don’t discriminate. The idea of “apartheid Israel” makes me so angry — I was a commander of the IDF and was in charge of Jewish soldiers. We were all brothers.

When I came out of the army I was working in marketing and doing quite well but I decided I wanted to go on this adventure. I felt that we needed an organisation to help bridge gaps between Jews and Arabs in Israel and at the same time defend Israel from the lies that are spread about it. So many people talk about my community without ever acknowledging who we are. For Amnesty International we are “Palestinians” but for the Palestinians in the West Bank we are Israeli Arabs or ’48 Arabs. We don’t fit into any of their narratives.

As well as the advocacy work I do, I am also a reporter for the channel i24News, explaining what life is like for Arab Israelis. Because I spend quite a lot of my life on camera I knew that I wanted to propose with a cameraman to record it — and I also knew I wanted to surprise her. I was carrying the engagement ring around with me for some time.

My opportunity came in May during the Gaza conflict. I was going to the border to do a film about the situation and she asked if she could come too, to put something on social media. I was so happy as it meant I had my opportunity — and as she’d asked to come, she would never suspect what I had planned.

After I’d filmed my segment I said: “My director wants to do another segment with someone from Israel so can you just speak about the situation?” We hit play and I said: “You know how I like to surprise you?” And I then took out the ring and proposed. As the proposal happened you can see in the sky the Iron Dome stopping a missile going over. She was completely shocked and at first thought it was a joke.

I posted it on my social media and it started getting so many likes and follows that it went on to the news. People were doing their own memes of where I should have proposed — beautiful beaches — rather than the Gaza border. But I think they liked the idea that not only were we this mixed couple but also because, despite the war going on, life wasn’t stopping. Hamas wasn’t going to control our lives. I think that is the way all Israelis feel; we aren’t defined by the attacks. They might be targeting Israel, that is our reality, but they can’t hit our spirit. They can’t stop us living our lives.

To find out more about Vouch for Each Other go to en.b-azz.org.

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