Prime Minister Jeremy Corbyn arrived in Moscow this morning for an emergency summit with Russian president Vladimir Putin. After their 6 minute meeting, Mr Corbyn told reporters that it was “imperative that Israeli aggression – sorry, I mean Nato aggression - is resisted” and said he was committing 10,000 British troops to fighting alongside Russian forces in “defending the motherland”.

Prime Minister Corbyn later addressed the Duma, the Russian parliament, in a special session which was billed as “The World Resists”. Miguel Díaz-Canel, the president of Cuba, Venezuelan president Nicolás Maduro and Daniel Ortega, president of Nicaragua also spoke.

Mr Corbyn told the Duma that “rootless cosmopolitans” were attempting to undermine his own leadership and that he stood squarely behind president Putin “in his overdue attempt to reshape the capitalist oligarchy that has ruled Europe for too long. Those of us who value peace above all must stand together in support of Russian forces’ friendship manoeuvres”. He also invited Russian forces to visit the UK whenever they wished, suggesting that they could travel en masse across Germany, France and the rest of mainland Europe on their way.

Mr Corbyn had flown to Moscow with the newly-appointed PM’s Special Envoy for Peace, Lord Andrew Murray. In a separate meeting with Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov, Lord Murray is reported to have to offered the use of British prisons to hold what is expected to be a surge in Russian prisoners. He said after the meeting: “It is vital that we show the people of Russia that they must stand fully behind their president, and should they attempt to disagree with him in public, they must expect consequences.”

Meanwhile a leaked briefing paper seemingly written by foreign secretary Baroness Jennie Formby has emerged which discusses the government’s refinement of its policy of unilateral nuclear disarmament. “It is clear from recent events”, the document concludes, “that it is indeed wrong for us to maintain our nuclear capability. But it would be foolhardy simply to decommission such weapons. Instead, we must hand over control to those who would make good use of them, such as the Russian president. Arrangements are underway to transfer the various control codes.”  

Mr Corbyn is expected to return to Downing Street tonight, but it is believed that Lord Murray will be remaining in Moscow.

This report has been approved by the Central Commission for Ethical Journalism, the new government body which approves all media reports.