October 7, 2023 marked the end of Succot and the start of Shemini Atzeret, a prelude to the joyous celebration of Simchat Torah, so significant in the cycle of Jewish life.
Henceforth, the date will mark a new collective trauma for all those psychologically impacted by the horror of events that day.
In the first few days after October 7 a silence seemed to descend, as if everything in “normal” life was suspended. Shock, like trauma, takes time to sink in. Both states can paralyse the brain as we try to make sense of incomprehensible actions, removing our sense of being in control.
Over the following months, I witnessed the impact in a variety of ways. Students who identified with the young people at the Nova music festival gravitated towards me. Students from Israel noted my biblical name, Shirah, and they whispered, through tears, that, feeling unsafe, they could no longer use their real names with confidence. They felt a need, unexperienced previously, to talk to and form a connection with someone they identified as familiar and safe. For some, it was the abrupt end of the joy of young adulthood and the realisation that they might never enjoy that same sense of freedom again. Whereas in the past they felt strong and, in some ways, invincible, they now felt vulnerable and insecure.
Adult patients in my clinics presented with varied symptoms. Some worried they could not function and had developed long-term mental illness. They described breaking down in tears at work and experiencing sudden difficulties in long-term intimate relationships. Discussions with friends outside of the community suddenly felt fraught with danger. Political differences caused fissures within previously stable relationships, even within marriages.
This caused psychological confusion. Triggers deep within people’s psyche of old, unresolved wounds of grief presented as symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and included flashbacks, insomnia and nightmares. For some, laughter produced a feeling of profound guilt and participation in joyous events felt wrong.
The therapeutic response focused on helping patients to function effectively despite the deep distress and sadness overriding everything. It required careful, gentle and sometimes lengthy treatment. I was asked if life would ever feel the same again, and in truth, for many Jewish people, the answer is no; life will now be seen within the prism of “pre” and “post” October 7.
Even in the face of adversity we have to learn ways to manage the pain of the events that have left long-lasting scars. If we can do this then the anniversary of October 7 will not only be a day of mourning but will be a day of coming to terms with living too.
Shirah Herman is a psychological therapist who has worked in the field of trauma and is Leader of Mental Health and Well-being of Dynamic Change Consultants (DCC)
