Family & Education
At 98, I'm reinventing myself again
Self-isolating at 98, Alf Borman is finding new ways to fill his day
June 4, 2020 11:06
Self-isolating at 98, Alf Borman is finding new ways to fill his day
June 4, 2020 11:06I’m 98 years young. I lost my sweetheart, Theresa, six years ago after 70 years of marriage and 72 years together.
We were completely devoted to each other. Totally distraught, at the time it would have been easy for me to have just retreated into myself. But while it necessitated a change of mindset — before she passed, every day for me was a lovely day, whereas afterwards it was, ‘‘Well, I got up this morning and that’s better than the alternative’’ — I picked myself up, dusted myself down and made another life for myself, going to jazz clubs, attending Jewish history classes at the University of the Third Age and even travelling to the coast and countryside on Ajex trips.
I also had Brent Cross, which I would visit several times a week. This offered a free Waitrose coffee and the chance to meet and strike up a conversation with any suspect sitting in my usual location on the main concourse. As an expert in extracting people’s life stories without them noticing, this was for me an interesting and entertaining way to while away an hour.
And, of course, I visited and was visited by my wonderfully supportive family. As a zaida, I got tremendous naches from seeing my great-grandchildren — I always say that holding them, cuddling them and dancing with them are the real things in life.
And now this! I’ve been self-isolating since even before Boris told me to, confined to my flat for the last two-and-a-half months. Like a phoenix rising, I’ve had to re-invent myself and my life again, for the second time in six years.
How do I occupy myself during these difficult times? My flat has an all-weather south-facing balcony with sliding doors, so I can sit and watch the world go by, drinking in the breathtaking sunsets on offer.
I’m fanatical about Jewish history and anything connected with ‘‘our people’’. Consequently, nothing beats selecting a favourite book from the shelf, settling down on the balcony and plunging into the details of Jewish history in the middle ages or reading about the lives of famous Jewish people. With Frank Sinatra playing in the background and a glass of red wine to hand, then all’s well with the world.
I took up painting when I was over 70, so if I’m in creative mode I can dash off Turners, Monets, Lowrys and the odd Jackson Pollock. These decorate my walls, but I also derive great pleasure giving them away as gifts. During lockdown, I’ve sold some with the proceeds being donated to a nurses’ charity
Zoom’s a boon, of course. Or is it Skype or Facetime? Anyway, it enables me to meet and greet the family en masse on a frequent basis, as on my recent 98th birthday. Actually, I can’t hear what they’re all saying to me as my hearing isn’t all that wonderful and my iPad can’t be turned up any louder. But just to see them all as if they were in my room raises my spirits.
If I have any spare time, there’s housework to do (no cleaner at the moment) and cooking. I’ve recently bought a slow cooker and I’m experimenting with recipes for that.
So you can see that, despite the many restrictions of lockdown, I’m leading a full and fulfilling life and I’m not unhappy with my lot.
And you know what? In my 99th year, I’m looking forward to the return of ‘‘normal’’, whatever that is and whenever it might be. At which stage I’ll be happy to re-invent myself for a third time.
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