‘I’m 18, in a period of nothingness…’

Just two months ago, my life changed overnight. The most intense period of my school career — preparing for A levels — came to an abrupt halt. Exams were cancelled and I had an overwhelming sense of liberation. I’d been looking at weeks of revision and stress. All this was washed away with lockdown; for a brief moment, I was completely at ease with the world.

I lapsed into a state of relaxation. But I soon came to realise that the implications of the lockdown were far more negative. It may seem that we teenagers are all moping around in our pyjamas, waking up at midday and watching endless hours of Netflix, but we are also thinking and talking to each other about how our lives are impacted day to day, how we are coping with the uncertainty and what this crisis means for our futures.

Those of us ending sixth form are facing a period of nothingness, a limbo between A Levels and university. Hours seem to fly by unproductively, with little to focus the mind on. Zoom and Facetime keep us connected with our mates, but it’s hard to keep a teenager penned in and some have escaped to hang out two-metres apart with friends. I have kept relatively busy by working as a virtual youth leader for Muswell Hill Synagogue but it has not been easy to fill my days.

Cambridge first year History student Sam Rubinstein, 19, tells me he’s also found lockdown monotonous. “It has been nice to read and relax, but I’m still gutted about missing a term of university.” He’s pessimistic: “I think it’s possible that I won’t get to go to university next term or, at the very least, that my experience of university next year will be undermined by social distancing rules. In the longer term, things are also quite bleak — I do think the economic impacts of the pandemic will massively hinder my age group in the job market.” He’s found a balance though: “Aside from all the university work, I’ve been reading, playing a lot of chess and trying to improve my German and Italian.”