For Steven Neerkin, planning his son's bar¬mitzvah was just the focus he needed. Di¬agnosed with cancer in 2004, he wanted to concentrate on some¬thing positive, far in the future, to see him through chemothera¬py. "I started planning from my hospital bed," he says. "It gave me something to think about, other than where my hair had gone. I had three cycles of chemo and each began with a full week of treatment, 10 hours a day. I wrote down my ideas with paper and pencil, searching the internet for information and by the time I came out of hospital I had a rough idea of what we want¬ed. It still took the final three years before the barmitzvah to plan the real detail.
"It was a four-day event, starting with im¬mediate family and a few close friends in Je¬rusalem," says the Londoner, who hopes to make aliyah with his wife Berneen once his children have finished school. "On Thursday, we met those we had flown in from London at the Mamilla Hotel and were marched through the Old City to the Kotel by a troupe of drum and shofar players. There were about 50 of us and everyone was dancing." They held their own shacharit service at the Western Wall - "the third location where Josh read his por¬tion, the first being in London the Saturday before, the second in Caesarea at Monday prayers," - followed by a full Israeli break¬fast in the Old City.
Meanwhile, a fur¬ther 170 guests were arriving at the Dan Caesarea, which the party took over for the weekend. The family has stayed there every year since 1998 and the hotel has known Josh since he was eight months old. Activities by the pool on Friday were followed by Shabbat dinner. Josh's sister, Amber, played her part the following day, standing up and explaining the portion to non-Hebrew speakers. "I taught Josh myself," says Steven, "which is one of the most incredible things I've ever done".
Entertainment was provided by the Neer¬kins' friend Lenny Solomon and his Schlock Rock band. Israel-based planner Joan Sum-merfield helped co-ordinate the event but Berneen insists: "Steven planned every aspect himself, down to the very detailed logistics."
Her husband, who has now been given the all-clear, plays down the emotion he must have felt, seeing his plans come to fruition: "I prefer to stay in the background. To be honest the most emotional thing about the entire event took place in Jerusalem the day before Josh got called up. We were shown round Yad Vashem by a Holocaust survivor and she said her greatest joy was seeing children like ours celebrate in Israel. To hear a woman who had lost so much because she was Jewish tell us that our simchah bought her happiness, put tears in all of our eyes."
It gave me something to think about, other than where my hair had gone
