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Opinion

Why I went on a date on the BBC

February 16, 2012 20:00
2 min read

Social Suicide. That was my instinct when I was forwarded an email looking for people for a BBC3 documentary on dating in the Jewish community entitled "Young, Single and Religious". Why on earth would anyone expose themselves to that level of ridicule?

Then I thought about it, and I questioned why that was the case. Why has dating become a taboo among young Jews? JDate, a phenomenal concept that connects singletons in a sometimes disparate community, is sneered at, with members decried as "desperate". Speed dating is a cardinal sin.

Rather than accept the fact that this is how people see things, I decided to pay it no heed. I ignored the warnings of concerned friends and amused acquaintances and agreed to participate. "Why?" so many asked. My answer: "It doesn't matter what people think. I'm single, and I date. That is not desperate. That is normal human behaviour."

The programme wasn't a "dating show" in the mould of Blind Date or Take Me Out. It was intended to offer an insight into the religious and social considerations of young British Jews. No matter your religion, dating isn't easy. Social media has connected us like never before, but on a superficial level, especially when it comes to members of the opposite sex. We meet a potential date, add them as a "friend" on Facebook and forget about them instantly. Or we have an aimless conversation using Facebook's "chat" function and then forget them. Or we see an unflattering photo, or spot that they are friends with an ex, or, worst of all, notice their awful spelling, and decide that they are "not for me".