Liberal Judaism is great — but it just isn’t for me

So I always thought of Christianity as a veritable buffet spread of choices. Judaism, not so much. Our shul was Orthodox, in a do-it-yourself, everyone’s welcome sort of way. The shuls I visited for family barmitzvahs were very similar, with added extras, such as ladies’ galleries.

However, there was one exception. We were invited to something called a “Confirmation” in a progressive synagogue (I have no idea which one). The participants were 16, not 13, and there was much English spoken. There were musical instruments. We all sat together as a family. It was nothing like any Jewish experience I had ever had. I was intrigued —but that was partly because I also knew that my mother highly disapproved.

And mainly out of respect from her, I never followed my interest in progressive Judaism, although we did go to the Liberal shul when we lived in Amsterdam — where the Dutch parts might as well have been Hebrew to us.

In recent years though, I’ve watched and admired greatly the way Liberal Judaism has welcomed and supported various friends of mine.

My friend and her three children were profoundly shocked and plunged into grief when her partner, their father, died suddenly, aged just 49. He’d been a long-standing member of the choir at the Liberal Synagogue in St John’s Wood, and the shul hosted a beautiful memorial service for him, all the more moving because neither he nor his family were Jewish.

Then there was the conversion process, undergone by another friend. Years of learning, guidance and encouragement, culminating in an emotional day at the Liberal Beth Din, during which I stood by her side as she was questioned with gentle respect. She’s been welcomed into several Liberal communities with open arms, and I was welcomed too — at her small “home” community  in Reading and again at the Liberal Synagogue in St John’s Wood, where she had her batmitzvah.

On that occasion,I was asked to read the haftorah. I pondered whether I would feel more engaged and involved with Judaism if that had been an option when I had my own batmitzvah, many decades ago. Probably, yes. The way in which women take a completely equal role within Liberal Judaism, and the respect paid to all kinds of people with all kinds of gender identities and sexualities impresses me, and highlights the gaps in my own experience (gaps I could have filled, but have never chosen to).

The person who helped me as I prepared to read the haftorah was Bob Kirk, whom I’d interviewed for the JC along with his wife Ann. Bob and Ann were Kindertransport refugees. They recalled how the Liberal community appealed for sponsors for children, and how they were nurtured by their community as they built new lives as young adults robbed of their own familes by the Shoah.

Further back, Lily Montagu is a name famous in Liberal Judaism as one of the founders of the movement in the UK, a philanthropist and activist for social justice and women’s suffrage. In my family, she’s known as the founder of the West Central Girls’ Club, which my grandmother loved when she was growing up in Ladbroke Grove.

So, with all my admiration for Liberal Judaism, why don’t I take the plunge? After all, the nearest community to my home is a Liberal one. The problem is not Liberal Judaism, it’s me. My Jewish heart does seem to be annoyingly Orthodox, even though my head leads me in a much more liberal direction.

Anyway, I’m delighted that despite my letting them down, Liberal Judaism raised £275,000, which will go to a variety of excellent projects.

And it’s not too late to add to that total. You can support Liberal Judaism here.