The great American President Franklin D. Roosevelt once said that "Confidence thrives on honesty". Reflecting on Israel's amazing achievements in her short modern history, I am bursting with pride. Yet, every time I listen to the speeches given by many of our communal leaders, I can't help feeling that we are being short-changed and patronised.
As someone who spends his days advising companies, individuals, NGOs and governments on how to communicate, I am perhaps acutely sensitive to rhetoric. I expect an intellectual honesty, confidence and nuance that is all too often lacking.
I understand the need in politics to talk to the lowest common denominator - there is a reason the Daily Mail Online is the best read global English language website - but is it too much to ask that, once in a while, we are treated like grown-ups who can handle a complex message?
The message we get has not changed from the message I heard as an 11-year-old on my first Bnei Akiva summer camp. Israel is amazing, has invented everything, we want peace, our neighbours don't, it is all their fault, we have done nothing wrong. Oh, and by the way, we invented Jaffa oranges and the USB stick. It is Hasbara 101 and just does not cut it. We need to be more honest, and more confident, when promoting and defending the state of Israel, especially when talking to the Jewish community.
The great irony of Israeli advocacy is that we want so badly for the world to view Israel as a normal country and not to be singled-out, yet we go out of our way to highlight Israeli exceptionalism. You don't hear Angela Merkel talking about the number of PhDs in Germany, or the Belgians bragging about their chocolate or the British reminding everyone that we invented the telephone. Only Israel feels the need to brag. This is not confidence, but insecurity. It does not win friends, but creates resentment.
Don't get me wrong. I am a proud religious Zionist and still close to my Bnei Akiva roots. I also know all too well that Israel is under attack, physically and psychologically, like no country on earth. I am not blind to the threats posed by the antisemites. However, I also believe we need to stop acting like insecure children and grow up. Be honest with ourselves and those we are seeking to influence.
Every conflict and disagreement has two sides. One side may be more in the wrong, but there are always two perspectives. Children refuse to admit when they have made a mistake, and dig their heels in until they get their own way. A grown-up says sorry even when they have nothing to apologise for. A responsible confident person extends a hand in friendship, even when the recipient is undeserving.
Now, before all the Hasbara experts start choking on their kneidlach, I understand that Israel has repeatedly extended a hand in peace and has been rebuffed. I know the history. Yet, what Israel has never done is say the three immortal words that are always necessary to help end every conflict: "I am sorry.".
I can say this as a proud Zionist, but Israel has plenty it can say sorry for in the 140 years since Jews started making aliyah again. The early pioneers were not blameless. Who in this world is? The IDF is the most inspiring, moral and courageous army in the world and I have pride in my heart every day of my life that I have a father, uncle, aunts, cousins and friends who have fought to defend our homeland. But, the IDF is not blameless all the time, nor are our politicians and leaders.
I would like to see some honest recognition that perhaps there are some Palestinians that do have grievances, either historic or current, and some honesty about how the state of Israel was actually created. We need to discuss why it was necessary, despite the difficult choices that had to be made, not the whitewashed stories we tell our kids.
What is also lacking from the speeches and articles are any concrete plans or thoughts on what can and should be done to help reach a resolution to the conflict.
I not am talking about making political or security compromises, but a change of language, tone and rhetoric. I know that the rest of the world will take us more seriously and there may even be a few Palestinians who will respect our honesty.
Perhaps we can try to inspire and encourage a new paradigm in the way we communicate about Israel. Let us move away from repeating the same old clichés, let us stop being so insecure and start projecting a confidence, intellectual honesty and mature dialogue with our friends and enemies.
Marc Cohen is a communications consultant