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Howard Jacobson

ByHoward Jacobson, howard jacobson

Opinion

Howard Jacobson pays tribute to his friend Jonathan Sacks

'He drew no distinction between the serious and the playful, the learned and the popular'

November 12, 2020 10:05
This time last year: the Pope and Chief Rabbi Lord Sacks in Twickenham
3 min read

We are blessed if our most lasting memory of someone we knew is a happy one. I will never forget the expression of pure mischievous joy on Lord Sacks’s face when, at a dinner party at his residence, he told us in what manner he’d addressed the Pope on meeting him in the Vatican on the eve (I think) of Shavuot. “I’d been wondering if I’d ever get the opportunity to say it,” he confided, deliberately keeping us waiting as to what exactly he had said. He turned those searching grey eyes on each of us in turn. Well? Could we guess? Of course we couldn’t guess, and anyway, we wouldn’t have wanted to spoil the pleasure he was taking in our not guessing. “No, Chief, tell us what you said to him.” He waited until he had our undivided attention. I could picture the Pope himself transfixed, wondering how the distinguished rabbi was going to address him. “Good Yontiff, Pontiff,” he told us, at last.

What made him a great rabbi was what made him such good company. He valued the comedian in himself as much as he valued the minister. He could pivot from stern to mirthful and back again in a second, not simply because he was versatile but because, when it came to the totality of experience, he drew no distinction between the serious and the playful, the learned and the popular, a midrash on the Akedah and a song by Leonard Cohen. He officiated at my wedding, presiding with fearful stringency over the bedecken of my bride, Jenny but, after the exchange of vows, he led everyone who had been under or around the chupah — Jew and Gentile, young and old — in a wholly unrehearsed and unexpected dance that managed to be at the same time bacchic and halachic.

The fact that he’d offered to marry us at all says a great deal about him. He knew we weren’t religious Jews. But he understood how opposites could concur, and why the gravitas of an Orthodox service might answer to something in the hearts of the non-Orthodox. It was no accident that one his many books was entitled The Dignity of Difference. I want you, he imagined God saying to Abraham, to be different. “God,” he wrote, “lives in difference.” He made argument central to his Jewishness, not only because he believed it furthered understanding, but because it was in itself an exhilarating challenge to live life fully.

At his dinner parties were guests of every persuasion. Though they were never less than convivial, there was something of the seminar about these events. Somewhere towards the end of dessert he would call us to order — not by tapping a glass but simply by altering the temperature around him — propose a topic of comtemporary concern, and invite one of his guests to address it. This could be frightening if you weren’t a natural public conversationalist, but he had a sixth-sense for embarrassment and never shamed anyone into talking who didn’t want to. He had a distinctive way of squeezing his eyes at difficult moments which I took to denote not just sympathy but fellow-feeling with awkwardness. But oh, how he loved conversation.