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Abigail Radnor

ByAbigail Radnor, Abigail Radnor

Opinion

Hats off to married life – except in shul

June 2, 2016 09:18
2 min read

If I might say so myself, I'm good at a simcha. I really do give the Ushavtem Mayim my all, often demonstrated by the sweat beads rolling down my face, but then I'd much rather be shvitz than nisht (which is something I might get printed on novelty sweatbands).

So I was very much looking forward to my first simcha of the year, celebrating a much loved cousin's barmitzvah. Being the first barmitzvah I've attended as an adult guest, I inevitably felt old but also conversely relieved that I am no longer 13. You couldn't pay me to relive that era of hormonal angst.

Another way in which this celebration made me feel like a proper grown-up was the fact that it was the first one I attended as a bona fide, ring-on-finger, chair-lifted, honeymooned wife.

Not yet married six months, we were, understandably, asked the question most appropriate for newly weds: "how's married life?" Like a lot of couples today, we had lived together before we got married (rest assured, I've not scandalised my grandmas with this admission. I was, after all, following a great aunt's advice "to try before you buy") so it is a tricky question to answer as, on the surface, it feels pretty similar to life before the wedding. I found myself responding with a quip about the one fight we had over taking out the bins, which I figure makes us officially, or at least stereotypically, married. Then I changed the subject because that's all I've got.