More classic Ilan, which I feel compelled to feature in my blog. This phone conversation happened between him and my mum (Grandma Rosy) shortly before Shabbat began.
Ilan: "What are you doing for Shabbat tonight?"
Grandma Rosy: "I'm going to light the candles, then make kiddush hamotzei."
Ilan: "You can't make kiddush...a man needs to make kiddush...your husband should make it" (knowing my parents are not married to each other!)
Grandma Rosy: I don't have a husband, so I make it.
Ilan: Oh (long pause)...we need to find you a husband!
Grandma Rosy: Where are you going to find me a husband?
Ilan: (another long pause)...in London!
Grandma Rosy: Where in London?
Ilan: I'm not sure, but I'll have to go on the train...on the Piccadily line!!
Although Ilan is yet to find my mum a husband, I'm sure he'd be happy to broaden his search, should anyone else be searching for a spouse!!