One year on, this freed hostage still can’t sleep – but Luis, 71 is dancing again

A year after the IDF rescued him from Hamas captivity, former hostage Luis Har is still receiving physical and psychological support. 
“We are still under the wing of the medical centre. The clinic for returnees provides us with follow-up and it helps a lot. We don’t always know how to define or put into words what is happening to us,” Har told the JC this week.
Har said he still struggles to sleep and is still trying to come to terms with his new self. “It’s very complex, everything has changed for us. Sometimes, we don’t know if it’s reality or if we are in a dream. We became different people. We need to learn who we are, even at my age,”  said Har, who will turn 72 next week.

He is very happy to see more hostages being released.  “It feels like the start of something new,”  he said.  “It also makes us worry that this process might be interrupted before they’re all home. It’s a great fear for all of us.” 

February 12 will mark a year since Har was rescued from captivity by IDF forces, together with Fernando Marman the brother of Har’s girlfriend Clara, after surviving 129 days as hostages.

On Oct ober 6, 2023, Har was spending the Simchat Torah holiday at Clara Marman’s home in Kibbutz Nir Yitzhak, opposite the Gaza Strip, together with Clara’s brother Fernando, her sister Gabriela, her niece Mia and their dog Bella.

All five were abducted by Hamas terrorists. While the women were returned in November 2023 as part of a  week long ceasefire between Israel and Hamas that saw the release of 105 hostages, primarily women and children, Har and Marman remained in captivity. While they did pass through tunnels during their kidnapping, all were mostly held above ground in buildings in Rafah, in southern Gaza.

“The lack of freedom is already hard enough. We weren’t beaten up but there was a lot of psychological warfare,” Har said. Psychological tricks included telling some hostages that they would be released while the others would be left behind or lauding the massacre that claimed the lives of 1,200 Israelis.

Noting that some returned hostages were held alone, Har stressed the importance of having some company throughout such a horrific experience. “Being alone, every second is an eternity, Time doesn’t pass, it’s very hard. Having someone else just to speak to or even argue with or tell stories is essential,” he said.

Freed Israeli hostages Fernando Simon Marman, 60, left, and Louis Har, 70, from Kibbutz Nir Yitzhak. Sheba Tel Hashomer Hospital in Ramat Gan, Feb. 12, 2024. (Photo: X)[Missing Credit]

At first, Har was told that the group would be released as a family because they were kidnapped as such. When he and Marman remained, Har never lost faith.

“We always said that the Jewish people don’t leave anyone behind. We knew we would get out, we didn’t know how or when but we knew it would happen, and we held on to that. Here, we are,” he said.

To those who note the seemingly positive physical state of  some of the hostages who returned from captivity, Har says that appearances are often deceptive. “What we see from outside is not what is really happening inside. I could smile my entire life and no one would know whether I’ve been negatively affected or not. There is a lot behind appearances,” he said.

Despite the October 7 failures, Har never lost faith in the IDF. “The army is our children, I also served in the army. What happened on October 7 isn’t their fault. The problem was with the higher echelon and not the soldiers. They risked their lives and I am proud of our soldiers,” he said.

Since the daring operation that saved his life, Har  has met with the soldiers who rescued him. “We have met more than once. They gave me back my life and it could have come at the cost of their own lives,” he added.

Since he’s returning from captivity, Har  says there have been positive changes.  “My self-esteem has increased as I realised that I had the capability of telling my story and mobilising the community.” 

Since he was freed, Har also returned to dancing. “I go at least once a week. I have danced since I was a kid,” he said.

Seeing more hostages being returned, Har said, makes him more optimistic. “It shows us that we are doing the right thing and that we will continue to fight to bring everyone home,” he said.

“When we are together at the hostage and missing families forum’s headquarters, we have become one big family. Somehow, the Israeli people are connected in a special way.” 

One of the most important elements on the road to recovery, Har said, is giving oneself time. “The newly released hostages need to be allowed the time to realise what has happened to them and what changes have been caused by spending time in captivity,” he said.

“They now need to get used to not being a captive and start from scratch. It’s not possible to go back to what was. We need to start new lives, of course, based on what was before, but it can’t be the same,” he added.

While most of his community at Kibbutz Urim community have goen back to their homes in southern Israel, Har currently lives in Ramat Aviv, in north Tel Aviv.

“My kibbutz went back very fast because we are located over seven kilometres from the Gaza Strip. My daughter and my two grandchildren are waiting for me there. To get back, I need a safe room which I didn’t have. I am renovating my house and adding it,” he said.

“I need to go home to promote my rehabilitation. Part of healing is going back to one’s roots, to how I lived before and to start getting to know myself again and to see how I cope with the new circumstances,” he added.