Denmark is not 'cosy' any more

When something big happens in life, a line is drawn; there is before and after.

It is now a year since the Copenhagen Synagogue was attacked and Dan Uzan lost his life on February 15, 2015. For me, and many others in our community, the commemorations are bringing it all back. There is before the attack and there is after.

The Danish-Jewish community has had its dark moments. Thousands had to flee the Nazis to Sweden during the Second World War and "The Great Escape" is still part of living memory. But, decades later, that story about survival and rescue has almost become a positive one.

Things shifted again after the attacks here. They represented a loss of innocence for me. I was stripped of the delusion that it will not happen to us, not nowadays, in lovely, cosy Denmark. Looking back, the question pops up: was I just sleepwalking before?

In the aftermath of the attack, Jewish institutions - the retirement home, the deli, the Chabad House - were flooded with policemen. Officers holding guns stood alongside children running around the school playground. Denmark's police force has now been with us for a full year of Jewish festivals and events. We must seem strange, but if they think we are weird, they do not show it.

The police presence was a very public show of force, demonstrating that Denmark's Jewish community was protected. I have never stopped feeling grateful to them and the government that sent them. What must it be like to be in a country where the government does not care?

But nonetheless, we were all scared after the attack, it was hard to let our children leave our sight. In contrast to all the big rhetoric in Danish media about upholding freedom of speech and not letting "them" win, I just wanted to make myself very small and survive. I needed to know everyone was home with the doors locked. I could not stop cooking, I made mountains of meatballs. I was not alone - the freezers in kosher homes all over Copenhagen were full to bursting, there was a visceral need to stockpile food.

A year on, security is certainly better than before the attacks and we have Dan to thank for that. It has become less visible but everything - gates, fences, procedures, you name it - has been reviewed, revised, improved. We have all become vigilant, we are not going to accept being a "soft target".

Of course the longer-term future of the community is a concern but despite Benjamin Netanyahu's assertions that we should move to Israel, I do not know of anyone who made aliyah as a direct result of these events. Our rabbi, Jair Melchior, pointed out that there are many reasons for moving to Israel but avoiding terror attacks is not one of them. The logic is not lost on the community.

The volunteer guards still find the courage to stand at our gates, like Dan did. A number of events commemorate him this year. And he will always have my prayers of gratitude. In his death, as in his life, he made us all safer.