Groundbreaking sex therapist Ruth Westheimer, known for her candid approach to talking about sex as a radio talk show host and media icon, has died at the age of 96.
Westheimer passed peacefully at her home in New York City on Friday surrounded by family, according to her publicist.
Better known simply as Dr. Ruth, German-born Westheimer was beloved around the world for her colourful personality and for offering up frank and humourous perspectives on taboo subjects, often saying, “There is nothing more interesting than sex.” At just 4ft 7in, the Holocaust survivor and Haganah veteran was a force to be reckoned with.
Westheimer, a psychologist educated at the Sorbonne and Columbia University, catapulted to prominence in 1980 with her WYNY radio show “Sexually Speaking,” on which she answered callers’ questions on sex and relationships. With her maternal tone and disarming humour, Westheimer was able to put callers at ease while keeping listeners entertained and, most importantly, well informed.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer participates in the annual Charity Day hosted by Cantor Fitzgerald and BGC at Cantor Fitzgerald on 11 September, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Robin Marchant/Getty Images for Cantor Fitzgerald)
During one episode, she took a call from a man who was unsure he was prepared to explore physical intimacy with his partner.
“I’m a virgin,” he said.
“OK, now I understand why you talk so fast,” Westheimer replied with a knowing smile. First and foremost, she advised the man to use a contraceptive. And then, “Take your time.”
In addition to writing a column for Playgirl magazine and the bestselling guidebook Sex for Dummies, the success of the radio show led to an even more successful career in television, with The Dr. Ruth Show attracting over 2 million viewers a week by 1985.
Born in Germany in 1928 as Karola Ruth Siegel, Westheimer was 10 years old when her parents sent her to a school in Switzerland on a Kindertransport as the Nazis rose to power. The rest of her family members were killed in concentration camps.
“Looking at my four grandchildren: Hitler lost and I won,” Westheimer often said.
She told the Guardian: “I was left with a feeling that because I was not killed by the Nazis – because I survived – I had an obligation to make a dent in the world.
“What I didn’t know was that that dent would end up being me talking about sex from morning to night.”
At 16, Westheimer emigrated to Mandatory Palestine and served in the Haganah, where she was trained as a sniper.
After being wounded during the 1948 War of Independence when she was 20, Westheimer moved to Paris with her first husband in 1950, where she studied at the Sorbonne. The pair divorced in 1955 and Westheimer immigrated to the US in 1956 with her second husband, with whom she had a daughter, Miriam.
(Photo by Roy Rochlin/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival)
In 1961, Westheimer met her third husband, Manfred Westheimer. Together, they had a son called Joel and remained married for 36 years until he died in 1997 from heart failure. She is survived by Joel, Miriam and four grandchildren.
Throughout the years, Westheimer taught at multiple universities including Lehman College in the Bronx, Columbia University’s Teachers College and Yale University.
In 1996, Westheimer wrote “Heavenly Sex: Sexuality in the Jewish Tradition” with journalist Jonathan Mark, drawing links between her Jewish heritage and the career she says she came to by accident:
“I believe that I can talk so openly about sex because I’m very Jewish and in the Jewish tradition, sex has never been considered a sin but always an obligation,” she said. “And it’s an obligation for the husband to satisfy his wife.”
