Chazan Stephen Cotsen dies aged 70 - The Jewish Chronicle

The former chazan at New London Synagogue, Stephen Cotsen, who has died aged 70, was born in Leeds, the son of my aunt Miriam and her former husband Jack Yules. His father left the family when Stephen was two years old so he was brought up with his sister Susan in a one-parent family until his mother married Ike Cotsen in Cardiff. Stephen took the surname of his stepfather.

He joined the Cathedral Road synagogue choir when he was about ten and this launched the start of his cantorial career. Stephen studied chazanut first with the late Chazan Tzvi Finkelstein in Cardiff and then at Jews’ College London under the late Chazan Leo Bryll.

He served as chazan at Brixton, Hackney and then Mill Hill. He also became a youth worker at Brady Maccabi and Victoria Jewish Lads and Girls Brigade (JLGB) in London and he was executive director of Brighton and Hove Jewish Community Centre from 1977 to 1979.

His many years of communal experience also included roles as Jewish education director at the Association for Jewish Youth from 1980 to 1985 and executive director of Jewish Child’s Day from 1985 to 1987.

Stephen Cotsen joined New London Synagogue as a member in 1996, having long been an admirer of the writings of Rabbi Dr Louis Jacobs. He soon became headteacher of the cheder and gradually took on extra responsibilities for communal activities. In 1999, when Chazan George Rothschild retired, Stephen was invited to become the full-time chazan and community director of the synagogue, a role he held until November 2012 when he left to return to Cardiff to care for his family there.

In 2018, following the departure of Cantor Jason Green, Stephen was invited back to New London, where he was once again the chazan, with added responsibility for the bnei mitzvah journey of the younger members. His responsibilities also included nurturing service leaders within the community and helping with pastoral work. He was employed on a half-time basis at New London Synagogue and also worked as a private tutor.

Stephen was also the owner of a kosher delicatessen from 1987 until 1992 where he acquired his catering experience. For many years the Cardiff Jewish community enjoyed his excellent singing at Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services held at Penylan House, the home for the elderly, where he enriched the services with his melodic tunes and wonderful voice.

During all the years that he was in London he frequently returned to Cardiff to ensure that his mother, who in her latter years was in poor health, was taken care of.

He would shop for her, take her to hospital appointments and would not think twice about driving a 300-mile round trip from London to ensure that his mother, and indeed his sister, were looked after. We as a family were convinced that a better son to his mother would not be found anywhere. He was devoted and never got over her loss in 2017. He had a love of opera and would never think twice about going to New York, the great concert venues in Europe or even Cardiff to enjoy it. He even appeared in the film Suzy Gold in 2004 as a chazan and was credited in the cast list.

I will conclude by stating that he was the epitome of a gutte neshoma, may his dear soul rest in peace. Indeed he was buried behind his mentor Rabbi Dr Louis Jacobs, which is testament to the high esteem in which he was held.

Geoff Goldberg.

In his eulogy, New London Synagogue Rabbi Jeremy Gordon, openly discussed personal aspects of Stephen’s life which he had at first found difficult to express. With his permission, we are reproducing the following extracts.

The first chapter of Stephen’s communal life came to an end because of sexuality. Stephen was gay and held that part of his life secret until the closeted existence became too much and Stephen left Mill Hill United and the Orthodox world.

For most of his time at New London Stephen never discussed his sexuality, but he became, rightly, less concerned about people knowing.

He was proud to support New London as we also became more articulate about our welcome of all, regardless of sexuality, and offering same-sex weddings.

I’m not sure those steps would have happened, at least not as smoothly, without Stephen being, well … just being Stephen, gentle and forceful in equal measure, guiding us along that journey.

In 2020, in the depths of that strange Covid year, Chazan Stephen and Rabbi Roderick Young shared a conversation as part of our weekly online Salon series in which Stephen spoke publicly about his sexuality – of his live-in boyfriend at the age of 35 – which prompted his decision to tell his friends, Ike and his mother.

Stephen served New London through exceptionally challenging times. Rabbi Jacobs had aged and New London was struggling to renew.

As Louis retired and Rabbi Chaim Weiner joined and as Chaim left and Louis came back and as Rabbi Reuven Hammer served as interim – Stephen was New London’s bedrock of continuity and comfort. That’s a lot to carry, even on such mighty shoulders.

I’ve been so touched to read the tales from members and strangers who’ve reached out to me in the past days; young boys and girls, now adults who Stephen taught for bar and bat mitzvah; young lovers, now old married couples for whom Stephen sang under the chupah.

Members who stood here, with Stephen at any one of the many funerals he conducted with such dignity, members who appreciated the nechamah (solace) he provided for others. I’m sad for us all, all mourning together.

Perhaps it was his decision in 2012 to leave New London to be with his mum and sister that best exemplifies everything Stephen stood for... It was heroic in a simple way – decent, suffused with everything our mesorah (tradition, or heritage) stands for, and done unfussily and with complete commitment to the decision he had made.

Rabbi Jeremy Gordon

Chazan Stephen Cotsen: born December 9, 1954. Died March 6, 2025

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bedrock of continuity and comfort