Britain's first Jewish ambassador to Israel has revealed the pain he suffered after he was accused of having dual loyalties.

Matthew Gould, whose five-year term in Tel Aviv comes to an end next week, described the effect of the abuse for the first time as he reflected on the state of Anglo-Israeli relations in a farewell interview.

It was the comments from Labour MP Paul Flynn that had caused the most distress. The politician had claimed in 2011 that Britain needed an ambassador in Israel who "can't be accused of having Jewish loyalty". The remarks were condemned across the political spectrum, but nonetheless hurt their target.

"I'd love to just laugh it off," Mr Gould said. "The truth is there was a little frenzy of accusations and conspiracies and condemnation soon after I started that was very painful. That level of personal abuse was not something I've had to take before. It did take some getting used to. The truth is I leave Israel with thicker skin than when I started. I also leave with a bit more robust self-confidence."

Mr Gould said diplomatic relations between the countries had "never been stronger", and cited economic, academic, scientific and security co-operation as the foundations of a healthy partnership.

He remained concerned, though, over the "long-term trajectory of the relationship" in the absence of peace with the Palestinians.

"Until that is resolved it sits as a long-term question mark against the relationship. I don't think it's catastrophic or irrecoverable. If there were some progress to peace, British public opinion would snap back quickly. But over a period of years, even decades, there has been a slow erosion of sympathy."

Mr Gould said he often thought about the job facing his successors - the next British ambassador, David Quarrey, starts work in July - and particularly the person who takes on the job in the 2030s. "I do wonder what instructions will be given to the next ambassador but three, because I wouldn't like to say what the wider political context will be," he explained.

Mr Gould said the legacy of last summer's Gaza conflict would be "a residue that would make harder all the things we were trying to achieve in partnership - not necessarily in predictable ways, but I knew at the time and I'm certain since, that the conflict has had a lasting impact on people's perceptions of Israel".

There was a personal toll, too. "Having to run for the shelter once or twice a day, being caught repeatedly outside away from shelters with the sirens going, knowing that my older daughter was figuring out what was going on whenever she heard the siren - that has an impact. It was a tough period."

The posting has had a significant effect on the 43-year-old, who previously served in the United States, Iran, Pakistan and the Philippines, and had stints in Westminster and Whitehall as a private secretary to prime ministers Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, and foreign secretaries David Miliband and William Hague.

Mr Gould and his wife, Celia, have enjoyed high profiles, mixing with Israel's glitterati, while also mourning at the funerals of terror victims and touring the country, meeting Israelis of all backgrounds and religions.

"It's the job of every ambassador to get to know the leadership of whichever country they are accredited to," he said. "In Israel there is a sort of friendliness which makes it quite different to anywhere I've been before. When I was in Tehran it was a challenge to get people to talk to me. In Israel it's a challenge to get anyone to shut up.

"One of the most remarkable things is constantly meeting extraordinary figures from its history. We will miss getting to know these iconic figures, names I grew up with such as Natan Sharansky, who was a byword for freedom, and now he's a friend - it's an extraordinary privilege."

The Goulds' two children, Rachel and Emily, were born in Tel Aviv. The experience of living in Israel had been "massively happy" for the family, who will move to Hertfordshire on their return to Britain. "We have never been a family anywhere else, so it's much more than just another job on the CV. Israel is absolutely an integral part of who we are as a family," the ambassador said.

"We are genuinely leaving with lots of friendships and places that we love all around the country. I'm determined we should come back."

The professional links to Israel will also continue - Mr Gould's next role is as director of cyber security at the Cabinet Office. "It nicely evolves out of some of the work we have been doing in technology here. Britain and Israel have a very good relationship in cyber so it gives me an excuse to visit again.