A golden number 2 helium balloon fluttered in the cold breeze as 300 hundred people met on the side of a shopping centre car park to ‘celebrate’ the birthday of two-year-old hostage Kfir Bibas at the same time as the Israeli government gave the green light for the ceasefire deal to go ahead.
This, of course, was no celebration. No one knows whether baby Kfir and the other 97 hostages are still alive, let alone if they will make it home. Will Hamas really relinquish all of them, when the hostages are their only ‘bargaining tool’?
Among the speakers at the Borehamwood vigil this Friday – a weekly event supporting the parents of Jake Marlowe, a young Brit who was killed at the Nova festival – was hostage family member Moshe Lavi whose brother-in-law Omri Miran is not on the list of the first 33 to be released. Next to him was his good friend Adam Ma’anit, whose cousin Tsachi Idan is on the list.
Moshe Lavi (L) and Adam Ma'anit (R) have found friendship in their shared plight as relatives of hostages (Image: Nicole Lampert)
The only difference between the two captives, both fathers, both civilians, is three years. Because Tsachi turned 50 while in Gaza he made it onto the list made up of the women, the children, the elderly (anyone over 50) and the injured. Because Omri is 47, he will not be released until the second phase of the deal is agreed.
Omri and Tsachi were neighbours at the kibbutz Nahal Oz, 4.3 miles from the Gaza border. To get into Omri’s safe room, where he was hiding with his wife Lishay and their two babies, now aged three and 18 months, Hamas fighters forced a 17-year-old teenager called Tomer Eliaz-Arava at gunpoint to entice them to open the door.
The whole family was then taken across the road to Tsachi’s house. To get into Tsachi’s safe room, they shot through the door, fatally wounding his 18-year-old daughter. The terrorists then live streamed the family’s distress on the personal Facebook page of Tsachi’s wife Gali.
At about 1.30pm they took Omri and Tsachi into Gaza where they have been held hostage ever since. Both wives said to their husbands “I love you, don’t try and be a hero”. The men were seen by hostages who were released in November 2023. The only other news their families have had of their well-being has been via Hamas videos.
In January one such video claimed that Tsachi was dead. His family is hanging onto the hope that, as the terror group didn’t show a dead body, this is more psychological warfare. It wouldn’t be the first time. “They said he was dead but didn’t show his body and they aren’t normally shy about showing the dead bodies of hostages," says Adam, 49, who heads social media for the Board of Deputies and runs a weekly hostage vigil in Brighton where he lives.
“We’ve held onto the hope that this has just been them bluffing. More games. It might not feel like a distinct possibility but we have to believe that Tsachi will come home alive. We’re also tried to prepare ourselves psychologically for the possibility that he won’t. It’s hard.”
At the end of April, Omri was in a separate video with American hostage Keith Siegel. “He looked unwell, badly treated, malnourished and the spark in his eyes had gone but at least we knew he was alive,” says Moshe, 36, a management consultant who lives in New York. “We have no reason to believe he is not alive anymore and we keep advocating with that assumption.”
The pair have met up in New York to advocate for the hostages at the UN
The two hostage relatives met over social media where both have been busy advocating for their family members and became friends. They met in person in New York where Adam joined other hostage relatives at the UN. Their friendship is deep and genuine. They share a pain but also a sense of humour – both are big Monty Python fans. They have mirroring deep rings under their eyes from the numb agony since October 7, the sharp anxiety of the last few days as a deal edged closer.
“Since October 7 we have had to put all our emotions aside because otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to function,” says Moshe. “Sometimes they overwhelm us at night, when we are under our blankets and no one can see us, but we know we have to wake up ready to fight another day.
“We, the hostage families, are not really suffering compared to what our loved ones are going through every day in captivity. And so, we fight to make sure people know that every day they are still in Gaza is a stain on humanity.”
Like many Israelis, they are torn about the deal but know there is no choice; it has to happen.
“The deal is a bad deal but also it has to be done,” says Adam. “Israel is diminished when it leaves people behind. Protecting our citizens distinguishes us as a society and that’s why we go to great lengths to bring all of our people back.
“They refuse to give information about who is dead or alive. We are all in agony. The deal is booby-trapped and it is part of Hamas’s psychological warfare to dangle the prospect of our loved ones coming home and then stagger it out in little groups of three with each group being paraded and argued over.”
Another thing linking them is that they live in the diaspora, so are only too aware of the antisemitism on the streets, the skewed way this war is looked at.
“We can be critical of the Israeli government – many hostage families are – but we would never have been in this situation if Western nations weren’t treating the people who fund Hamas as our allies,” says Adam. “The whole idea of a deal is that it leads right into Hamas' hands and the issue is that we should have never allowed them to play that game. If the world had stood steadfast and defiant against Islamic extremism, against the terrorism of Hamas and Islamic Jihad and its state backers, like Iran and Qatar, and put pressure on those relationships we would be in a different place.
“Why didn’t they demand they put pressure on Hamas to surrender and release the hostages? Not only would we have saved the lives of all those hostages who are now dead, but we may have also been able to avert a catastrophe that has been brought on the Middle East, and particularly on Gaza.
“Why do we keep treating Hamas and the Palestinians as babies, like they have no agency? And why do we turn a blind eye to the fact that Qatar is hosting the Hamas leadership in five-star luxury hotels? Is it because 10% of real estate in the United Kingdom is owned by Qatar, including some of our major landmarks, like the Shard? Is that why we treat them like they are a neutral party? It is insane when you think about it.”
Moshe spoke outside the Save the Children headquarters in London on Thursday, where Kfir’s birthday was marked and was stunned to see police having to hold back a man shouting “Free Palestine”.
"The thing that surprises me is how more people did not rally behind this cause irrespective of what you think about Israel and the conflict,” he says.
"Why would you come to a rally to mark the birthday of a hostage who is turning two years old and start shouting your political slogans? I’d be happy to discuss the ways in which a Palestinian state can be established but is that really an appropriate place to do that?”
The days and weeks ahead may provide different outcomes for the two men, but they know they are in this fight together not only now but until all the hostages are home. Adam has pledged to continue his advocacy no matter what happens to Tsachi.
“This time it does feel different but until the first hostage is released, I won’t believe it is really happening,” says Moshe. “It is hard knowing Omri is not on the list but we have to hope that every hostage that does come home is one step closer to Omri returning too. I can only look forward and I can’t wait to see Tsachi and Omri home and for Adam and I to embrace them together.”
