Community heads claim there have been 'unfortunate' incidents at funerals since 'resignation' of Jewish undertaker following a fall-out with shul
November 20, 2020 11:04
Sussex Jewish Representative Council has failed in its bid to get Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis to intervene in a dispute between Brighton’s sole Jewish undertaker and a local Orthodox synagogue.
In correspondence, the council informed Rabbi Mirvis of a “deeply worrying situation” dating back to Rosh Hashanah last year, when the board of Brighton and Hove Hebrew Congregation claimed the undertaker, Martin Gross, had resigned.
There had been an issue between the shul and Mr Gross, details of which the BHHC board had “not been willing to disclose”.
For the past year, congregants from BHHC and Hove Hebrew Congregation — who are served by the same burial ground and BHHC’s burial arrangements — have relied on a non-Jewish undertaker, which according to the letter, had led to a number of “unfortunate” incidents.
One was in September at the funeral of the mother of SJRC executive member Fiona Sharpe.
Ms Sharpe, 54, told the JC that the coffin could not be lowered into the grave because the hole dug was insufficiently wide.
She and other family members had to wait as attempts were made to widen the hole to accommodate the coffin. She believed her mother was later reburied.
“To stand outside in the rain and watch what could only be described as a farce go on was quite awful,” she said.
At one point, she told her two adult children to turn their backs so as not to witness what was going on. It had been a “complete desecration” of her mother’s memory.
Ms Sharpe felt that the situation would not have occurred under Mr Gross, who had a “personal connection” with community members.
SJRC also detailed occasions where the coffin had been too small for the deceased, and another where the bier was pushed the wrong way, causing it to fall off a ramp, almost dislodging the coffin.
“These incidents caused extreme and unnecessary distress for the mourners.”
The council wrote to the Chief Rabbi about the problems at the beginning of October — and again a month later.
SJRC president Beryl Sharpe said the hope was that Rabbi Mirvis would “use his wisdom and perhaps see that both parties will be able to get some sort of closure”. In a delayed reply, understood to be the result of an administrative error, a member of the Chief Rabbi’s staff wrote that while happy to discuss Jewish law, a local dispute was not something the Chief Rabbi “could or should become involved in.
“That is a matter for those with a detailed understanding of the local considerations to resolve themselves.”
A spokesperson said the Chief Rabbi’s view had been made clear to the “relevant parties many times over recent months”.
Mr Gross told the JC: “It saddens me that this situation has happened. It is totally and utterly unnecessary. I have served the Orthodox Jewish community for 26 years, which has been an absolute pleasure and honour.”
He claimed that during a time of management change at BHHC, “they wanted to do things in different ways, which did not include a Jewish funeral director”.
Mr Gross said his contract with the shul had been up for negotiation in September 2018 but was not renewed. He had stayed on until October 2019 but his position had become “untenable”.
BHHC chairman David Seidel said the shul did not comment publicly on relationships with employees or contractors.
