Interview: Susan Pinker - The Jewish Chronicle

Why is it that so many of us lead insular lives? Somehow, we have good intentions, we promise to visit friends or relatives whom we haven't seen for years yet we put it off because we tell ourselves that we are "just too busy."

Before we know it, the months have passed. We bury our heads in the sand and carry on with our busy lives, becoming more and more insular. So just why have we entered what has been tagged "The Age of Loneliness"?

Canadian psychologist, journalist and broadcaster Susan Pinker who has written a fascinating book, The Village Effect: Why Face-To-Face Contact Matters, is convinced that many aspects of our daily lives have changed, decreasing human contact.

More people than ever before now live alone; solo living has increased 300 per cent in the last 40 years, Pinker says.

"Many of us now work, go to school, buy what we need, and communicate with our friends and families online, which means no face- to-face contact and so many of us hurry into our cars, without saying a word to our neighbours.''

We need to create our own villages

What's more, Pinker is convinced that our health is at risk and we may die younger than we should because ''many of us now lead such solitary lives".

You may argue that we are never actually disconnected because we keep in touch by mobile phone, social media, sending Instagrams and texts but, as Pinker asserts: "We are keeping in touch virtually yet in most cases digital contact doesn't bring us any closer together. It is great for logistics and manipulating data, but it's not as great at building trust and intimate human relationships."

Of course, she is absolutely right – which is why the JC has launched a campaign to combat loneliness. We may take "selfies" and send them to each other but that isn't having face-to-face contact. Those who replace in-person contact with technological updates, a process that may creep into our lives gradually, may find that what started out as a convenient way to connect has actually had the effect of coming between us.

Pinker tells us that research shows people who feel socially disconnected are at greater risk of dying young, men in particular and it is not just older people who are affected.

"In the UK,'' Pinker says, ''many of those under 25, who should be having the time of their lives, also say that they are lonely and that they feel disconnected from the people around them.

"It's fascinating to note that women in general outlive men by an average of seven years yet this is not the case everywhere.

"In the hilltop villages of central Sardinia, the men who reside there often live well into their nineties and beyond. Ten times as many men in these villages live past the age of 100 than men in other developed nations, whether in Europe or North America.''

Though genes account for 25 per cent of this super-longevity, face-to-face contact with friends and family in their tightly knit communities also plays a strong role.

Pinker backs up the stories of Sardinians with more than 150 studies showing that social contact buttresses immunity and resilience, conferring more benefits than quitting smoking or heavy drinking.

"From birth to death, human beings are hardwired to connect to other human beings. Face-to-face contact really matters: tight bonds of friendship and love heal us, help children learn, extend our lives and make us happy.

"Looser 'in-person' bonds matter, too, combining with our close relationships to form a personal 'village' around us, one that exerts unique effects," she continues.

"The internet presents a paradox: some say we are more connected now than ever before yet some say we are less connected. In my opinion both views are correct."

Fascinatingly, Pinker explains that, by becoming more solitary, we risk doing ourselves harm and she provides evidence of this from her studies. "A study in 2006 from the University of California found that 3,000 women with breast cancer showed that those with a large network of friends were four times as likely to survive as women with broader in-person social connections," she says.

"Widows and widowers live longer if their neighbourhoods are home to other widows and widowers. Creating our own 'villages' of friends and colleagues is good for our health and working life. But these should be real-life connections, not merely virtual ones," she points out.

"Research shows that children benefit from face-to-face contact more than they do from any mobile technology developed so far.

"Take family meal-times, for example. The more meals you eat with your child, the larger his or her vocabulary tends to be and the higher his or her school grades.

"It's not organic broccoli that makes kids smarter, nor is it how many virtual contacts or apps they have. Rather it's the back and forth of concerned conversation with the people in their 'village' that makes all the difference."