I never believed in love at first sight. I thought it was a gimmick created by the media to sell romantic comedies and Valentine’s Day cards.

That was until I experienced it for myself.

This past summer, I was feeling disheartened about love. While I was happy enough being single —I even wrote the bestselling book Unattached: Essays on Singlehood, which advocates for single positivity and landed me on the front cover of this very newspaper —
I, like many thirtysomethings in North London, was tired of dating.

Dating — especially on the apps — can often feel exhausting, but I do believe it’s important to stay optimistic because you can find true love there.

When you hit 30 as a single Jewish girl in North London, I believe you have two choices. Either you can decide to give into peer pressure and start worrying about your romantic future — whether you’re going to meet “the one”, get married, settle down, have a family — an answer to all those the prying questions about your love life around the Friday night dinner table.

Or, you have another option. You can choose to be the love of your own life. You can date yourself — choosing to have a life that is full to the brim with friendships, travel, experiences, joy.

You can really use your freedom and independence to do all the things on your bucket list and feel fulfilled by the life you have, one that is uniquely your own.

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A smitten Angelica on her wedding day

If I could leave one piece of wisdom with you, it would be this: life is so much better when you’re not waiting for it to begin.

From today onwards, I’d like to take away that existential fear of whether you’re going to “meet the one” from you.

I know first-hand how much that lingering thought can harm your day-to-day happiness. What’s more, when you free yourself from that worry, the universe will probably say “OK, they’re ready”.

Because that’s what happened to me. In June 2022, I decided to take my own advice and fulfil the dream of a lifetime: to spend the summer writing in New York. I had a book deadline for the end of the summer, and I thought where better on Earth than Carrie Bradshaw’s stomping ground? I’d always dreamed of living in New York and I seized the moment.

It turned out to be the summer that changed my whole life.

New York is a whole lot different to London. New York is a great single city; people settle down later and being single in your mid-30s isn’t at all abnormal.

It gives the city a fun, restless energy and that, coupled with some of the best restaurants and bars in the world, makes it probably the best place on Earth to date.

As it happens, I had beginner’s luck in New York because practically the first date I went on, I fell totally head over heels in love.

We arranged to meet at a rooftop bar in Chinatown. I was 15 minutes early and nervously paced the streets trying to look nonchalant.

As he stepped out of the car, I knew I was in trouble.

I’ve never seen a man so handsome. A wide all-American smile, dark, full hair, broad shoulders, and the kindest eyes I’ve ever seen. By the time we’d had one lychee martini, I was pretty much toast. He was funny, interesting, and charismatic to boot, I suddenly understood that cliché: “When you know, you know.”

Because I knew.

I knew, somewhere inside me, that everything was about to change. I now know there are two versions of my life; one before the evening of 19 July, and the one after. And I was right. I suppose the beautiful and challenging thing about love is for both parties to feel the same away about each other at the same time; luckily for us, we did.

He’s since told me that when he stepped out of that cab on our first date, he felt time slow down like it does in the movies. For a brief moment, we were both inside a Netflix rom-com, our eyes meeting for the first time.

When love is right, it’s easy.

Logistically, it hasn’t been easy — I packed up my flat, my career, my friendships and the life I knew after three dates and shipped all my belongings from West Hampstead to Williamsburg — but loving him has been the easiest task of my life.

And love smooths out the creases of logic; who cares about mundane practicalities, really, when the sight of someone’s smile cracks your heart in two?
Reader, I married him.

After four months of dating, we eloped at City Hall, just the two of us. It was nothing like the big Jewish weddings I’ve been going to for years; there was no big kosher catered do at the Langham or dancing into the night at the Grove.

I thought I would mind that it was small and simple, but, frankly, it was perfect. Because what I’ve learnt is it’s not about the size or the lavishness of the wedding, but the honesty and simplicity of the love between two people.

After all the balloons have been let out and the plates cleared away, that’s what you’ll remember. How it felt to look into each other’s eyes and commit yourself — your life, your love — to someone else.

What I will remember about that day for years to come is the look in his eyes as he said “I do” and how it felt to walk out of City Hall, hand-in-hand, man and wife. It turns out, we don’t need a lot, to have everything.

So don’t give up on love. It will find you when you least expect it. Whatever is meant for you, will find its way to you. I promise.