Men’s reluctance to talk about health is now being cited as a contributing factor in prostate cancer, which is overtaking breast cancer as the third deadliest form of the disease. Other factors, such as an ageing population — with twice as many men getting prostate cancer today as 20 years ago — are making an impact on figures.

But campaigners believe decades of celebrity-led breast cancer awareness-raising has increased women’s vigilance, as well as improving funding for research. With prostate cancer, it seems there is often a taboo around discussing the disease.

Lisa Steele, chief executive of Chai Cancer Care, says: “Prostate cancer is the most common type of cancer diagnosed for men in the UK, with more than 47,000 new cases each year (source: Cancer Research UK), affecting 13 per cent of the UK population. Yet we find many of our male clients, both during and post treatment, cannot talk about what they are going through with family and friends — for many, it is like the elephant in the room.

“Everyone is different, but side effects of some treatments for prostate cancer can include erectile dysfunction, urinary incontinence, lethargy and weight gain around the breast area. Many of these are very personal issues. The discomfort of discussing them means prostate cancer is not talked about as openly as breast and other cancers. Not only does that impact awareness-raising, it also means men who are receiving treatment for it can feel very isolated, depressed and even hopeless at times.”

Here, two of Chai Cancer Care’s clients talk about their experiences.

JOSEPH, North London

“Prostate cancer just isn’t talked about the way other illnesses are,” says Joseph, who was diagnosed in June 2014. “I had no idea, when I started treatment, quite how devastating the side effects would be for me to cope with. There were times I felt almost suicidal.”

After initial treatment with hormone medication, Joseph was started on a course of radiotherapy — daily for two months.

“I was a little over half way through the radiotherapy when I realised something wasn’t right down below. I couldn’t get aroused. After the shock of my diagnosis, this just felt like too much to cope with. I was devastated.”

Joseph, who is single with a son in his 30s, felt there was nobody he could talk to about his feelings. He was at his lowest point when he turned to Chai Cancer Care for support.

“I had recently split up from my girlfriend before I was diagnosed and I felt depressed and alone. The kind of side effects I was experiencing were not the sort of thing you talk about with your friends. Sometimes I would be waiting to get on the train and part of me would feel like jumping,” says Joseph.

“After the radiotherapy finished, I started on hormone injections. These reduce the testosterone in the body but they made me feel tired and giddy and I also put on weight in the breast area. All in all, I just didn’t feel like myself.

“I’d lost my confidence and was very depressed about the future. How could I go on dates or meet someone? How would I talk about what’s going on with my body? I saw a counsellor at the hospital and tried a support group meeting but I didn’t really feel comfortable with either of these.

“One day, I was walking past Chai Cancer Care’s Hendon centre and I took down the number and phoned them. From the first moment I walked through the door, I felt good there. It’s the most wonderful place and everyone is so warm.

“They booked me in with a counsellor who has been amazing — I can talk to her about anything. She explained what was going on with my body and has helped me come to terms with it. I genuinely don’t think I would have got this far without her support.

“She reassured me that my feelings were not unusual and urged me to speak to my doctor to see if I could benefit from anti-depressants. The doctor prescribed some and they seem to be working.

“In addition, Chai suggested reflexology and some exercise to build up my strength too, but for me it is the amazing emotional support I got which has really made the difference.

“Because the possible side effects of prostate cancer treatment are so personal, I think it isn’t really talked about as much, but as a result I had no idea about what to expect and I couldn’t explain to my family why I felt so devastated. I have been told the erectile dysfunction can wear off six to eight months after treatment — which I have now finished, so I am hopeful that will be the case. My life has been on hold, really, since it all began, but I am forever grateful to Chai for getting me to the point I am at today.”

MEL GOODMAN, 79, Finchley

Counselling has been a “miracle” for Mel Goodman, who struggled with depression after his prostate cancer diagnosis.

“I had had an enlarged prostate for a while and the doctor was monitoring my PSA levels (prostate-specific antigen levels in your blood, a protein produced by prostate cells). Suddenly it jumped to a much higher level, so they investigated.

“Prostate cancer was diagnosed and I was told it was quite serious. I started hormone treatment in advance of radiotherapy. The hormones combined with the diagnosis made me feel very depressed, but when I went to my doctor about this, he told me to snap out of it.”

After the doctor’s response, Mel’s wife Ros got in touch with Chai Cancer Care. “ I was introduced to a lovely case worker who takes care of clients and connects them with the different services Chai provides,” says Mel. “She arranged counselling for me and one-to-one training at a gym to help re-build my strength due to the impact of the hormones on my muscles.

“I have to admit I was sceptical about the counselling, but it was like a miracle. After just two or three sessions with my counsellor, I felt like I could face the world again. My wife and I had booked to go to Australia to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary and I had wanted to cancel.

“The counsellor helped me to see things from a different perspective and persuaded me to go on the trip. I did and when I came back I started radiotherapy, but I felt much more positive.

“I have now graduated on to gym sessions with two others who have had cancer and it has really made me feel stronger. I also have reflexology and have attended art sessions and group activities.

“I still feel tired from the hormone therapy and there are things happening with my body that are not marvellous. The doctor was dismissive, but I needed support with it. I do still get down sometimes, but the techniques my counsellor gave me mean I can overcome those feelings quite easily now and I feel like I am now coming out the other side of it all.”

Could my symptoms be prostate cancer?

Some symptoms of postate cancer can overlap with other prostate conditions –—such as benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), which results in an enlarged prostate, often occurring as men get older. However, because symptoms are so similar to those of prostate cancer, it is important to check these out with your doctor. Symptoms can include:

• Needing to empty your bladder more than normal during the day.
• Getting up in the night several times to empty to your bladder.
• Difficulty passing urine or urinary hesitancy: it could be difficult to start passing urine, the flow might be weaker than normal, you may have to strain to urinate or it might be stop/start when you go.
• A feeling that your bladder has not emptied fully.
• Urgency: you may have a strong urge or need to rush to the toilet to empty your bladder.
• Leaking urine: you may leak a little after passing urine.
• Rarer symptoms can include blood in urine or semen and erection problems.