Man asks for woman's hand in marriage. Ta dah! Not exactly the most groundbreaking of headlines, but when that man is heartthrob thespian Benedict Cumberbatch, newsrooms across the globe go into overdrive to fuel the information frenzy about his intended, for his legions of heart-broken fans.
Of course, it could have been me, they all sigh. Actually it could have been me. Like his fiancée Sophie Hunter, who worked with him on the film Burlesque Fairytales, I took to the stage alongside Cumberbatch in a Harrow School production of A Flea in Her Ear in 1991. The BAFTA award winner's cameo as French maid Eugenie stole the show. A couple of years later my sister Charlotte co-starred with him in a Sixth form production of City of Angels. Again his spectacular talent hauled the school production into a different league. So I have always felt a vague connection when I watch him onscreen and follow his career with interest and affection.
I was rather delighted that the couple announced their engagement in the nonchalantly traditional way. There was no Tweet, press release or cryptic photo on Instagram. Instead, this understated notice appeared in the Forthcoming Marriages section of The Times:
"Mr B. T Cumberbatch and Miss S. I Hunter. The engagement is announced between Benedict, son of Wanda and Timothy Cumberbatch of London and Sophie, daughter of Katharine Hunter of Edinburgh and Charles Hunter of London."
And Spice Girl Geri Halliwell did the same thing this week when she revealed she was marrying Formula One team boss Christina Horner.
I always flipped to the personal section of the JC
Their announcements wistfully reminded me of my own preoccupation in my twenties when the Jewish Chronicle landed on the doormat. Hold the front page - I always flipped straight to the personals section to see who was tying the knot.
I oohed and aahed at misty-eyed wedding photos and snorted with derision at what I deemed as unfortunate choices of baby names. Didn't we all? It is still a weekly treat for a stereotypically nosy community to know what (and who) is what.
These were the days before social media (yes kids, there really was life before Facebook). Nowadays we take it for granted how easy it is to snoop on anyone from old school friends to old flames with a sneaky peak at their timelines. Back then our only point of social reference was the JC! The trailblazer, perhaps, of obsessive need-to-know minutiaa. Oh the pressure to file the forthcoming marriage or birth announcement in time for the very next edition, not to mention getting the wording just right. Forget saying it in 140 characters, the JC challenge is to fit everything neatly into 40 words or less.
But these are all, mostly, ordinary people, stepping new milestones in life. With celebrities, what we want are the details. The backstory. Benedict, 38, and Sophie, 36, have kept their relationship very private since they were first seen publicly together this June at the French Open.
Predictably, it didn't take long for the internet to be flooded with comment from Cumberbatch followers - the "Cumberbitches" as they are known. Although Benedict prefers to call his fans "Cumberpeople".
"I think [that name] sets feminism back so many notches," he once said.
What indeed does set it back is the tone of all the tattle. The shocker, it would seem, is that he is marrying a woman of substance. Sophie Hunter is quite a catch. The bilingual Oxford graduate, actress and award-winning director also runs an impressive four theatre companies. A marriage of equals - fancy that!
Of course you may argue why shouldn't a successful, eligible man want to marry a successful and eligible woman? That however misses the point. If it is newsworthy that he's fallen in love with a brilliant woman, the implication is that all other women are not brilliant. Or that not being brilliant is somehow unimportant.
I am utterly thrilled that a nice bloke has fallen in love and I wish all the very best to the happy couple. Yet woman-has-career-and-ambition-and-filmstar-fiance is not a line that should raise an eyebrow, let alone start trending on twitter. Even if she has taken one of the nation's most eligible bachelors off the market.
