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Mum has got dementia, how can we help?

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QMy parents are in their late seventies and my mother has just been diagnosed with early signs of dementia. She is OK at the moment but we don’t know how long this will last. While my dad is still mentally fine he is increasingly frail. My sister and I are worried they will soon lose the ability to manage on their own. What can we do?

AI am sorry to hear about your parents, particularly your mum’s diagnosis. While I can’t advise on the physical side of your parents’ care, I can help with the financial/practical one.

The first thing to do is talk to your parents about drawing up lasting powers of attorney (LPAs) for both of them. These allow your parents to appoint you and your sister, or anyone else they want, as ‘attorneys’ who can make decisions on their behalf if they are not able to make them them-selves

There are two types of LPA, one to manage their health and welfare and the other their property and financial affairs. You can have one or more attorneys and they don’t have to be the same for each. Assuming your parents choose you and your sister for both, they also need to decide if you can make decisions on your own or both of you have to agree before any action is taken. If your dad is still of sound mind he may also want to be an attorney for your mum.

Once the decision has been made you can either download the forms from the gov.uk website or speak to a solicitor who can guide you through the process. Once the documents have been drawn up, witnessed and both your parents certified as being mentally capable of making an LPA, then it must be registered with the Office of the Public Guardian. This can take up to 20 weeks. It costs £82 to register an LPA though the fee can be reduced in certain circumstances.

Once the LPAs are registered, your parents can ask you to assist with their finances whilst they still have capacity, for example, if they need help making decisions, or want you to talk to banks and utility providers, on their be-half. The health and welfare one can only be used if they do not have ca-pacity to make a specific decision. Attorneys are required to take past and present wishes into account when making a decision and you are required to act in your parent’s best interests.

“Sometimes clients are fearful of making LPAs and think they are giving up control, but the law puts safeguards in,” says Miriam Spero, head of private client at Branch Austin.”You may not need LPAs, but if you do and do not have anything in place it can get expensive and complicated as someone needs to apply to court to manage your finances. This can take at least 6 months where your bills or home fees cannot be paid or direct debits cancelled. A court application also costs more.”

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