Me and You: ‘I understand Dov and he does me’

Dov on Lily: I have so many memories with my Safta, really happy ones of going to the park or the zoo, or sharing Shabbat — it’s not all Holocaust memories. She used to take the family out and play football. Even when my friends come round they talk to her like she’s our age. She’s very youthful and fun.

I knew from a young age that my Safta was a survivor — before I really understood what that meant. She spoke about it at my primary school, but it was very watered down. It was just so kids in the school could meet a survivor and at least remember that they’d met a survivor.

But then one of my friends in Year Six asked to see her tattoo. And I would never ever have dreamed of asking her at that age. I can still remember sitting in the lounge and she showed both of us her tattoo, and I felt very shocked and emotional. It brought it all home, and I realised that she was actually there.

She had a bank note given to her by an Jewish American soldier after liberation. He signed it. And I took pictures so I could put them on Twitter and see if I could find the soldier for her.

I got thousands of notifications right away, and in eight hours we identified him and contacted his daughter.

That opened up a whole network of contacts for me with different museums, and also gave me a sort of platform, because before the platform was only a few hundred followers on Twitter and Tiktok. Then it moved to the thousands, which again is not huge compared to some people, but even 1000 people learning about Lily’s stories is amazing, considering when you go to speak in a school you’re only talking to a few 100 people.

I realised that I have a platform here and people do want to learn. And even though we’re obviously taught about the dangers of social media, to be wary of antisemitic abuse, and to be very careful on social media — that’s drilled into children from a young age in schools — I realised that there is a positive side. There is a side for education. People do want to be nice. For every person that wants to send a bad comment, there are probably two that send a nice comment.

I’ve definitely seen that over the past year. People are sending love to Lily and me the whole time selling us virtual hugs during the pandemic. And they ask questions every day. Everyone wants their stories.

It snowballed from from that first banknote. Suddenly, we ended up talking to different historians finding out different dates and events that happened during the war, finding tangible evidence such as documents that the Nazis had written about Lily and her family when she arrived at Auschwitz.

That’s when we started the process of the book. I wanted to carry on using social media so we set up the TikTok and we set up an ‘Ask me anything’ function, where every day people ask questions in the comments and we try and put up about three videos a day.

In the past 60 days, we’ve had over 100 million views. As I said, people actually do want to listen.

Obviously, you do need to be careful on social media, people can be very dangerous, and they can send a lot of hate speech.

But if you can deal with that and you have a platform, use it to spread light and good messages and history in the hope that it will never be forgotten.

During the pandemic, it’s was very special to spend that time together. In a regular year I would have been in school every day and I would have just seen her on the weekends.

So I got to see her every day and write the book together and learn key facts that I can share forever with other people.

I want to show her that there will be someone to carry it on — but also in the sense of family, because I know how much she lost in the Holocaust and the family she lost.

I know how much it means — how family is so important. I definitely appreciate her and the whole family. But we have a very close bond.

Lily on Dov: Dov always was very quiet. That’s a joke — he was never quiet. I liked that because I could empaphise. I like things to be lively.

When you survive, to try to talk about it and at the same time to rebuild is impossible.

So I knew that first I have to rebuild. It was too fresh, too new; it hurts still. The blood was still in it — you could not think about it— but you had to. If that is the last time, if I want it or not, I had to do it.

It was impossible to talk to my children about it. I go back now, to when my children were young — teenagers — when the Eichmann trial was on. Then I had to talk about it.

The whole world then knew about it — it came out. I wanted to protect my children, that was the problem. It was enough that I had to go through it, but why should I put my children through it?

But then they were asking questions. I had a number — my children said, we know, but we didn’t want to hurt you.

Then we spoke about it, and I learned something. It is the best thing, always, to be open and talk about it. When you don’t hear, you imagine things. When you hear about it, then you think, well now I know.

Some people shut down, that’s how they survive. Some people talk all the time. I think it is the best thing to talk. When you talk, you share with somebody.

It was easier to talk to the grandchildren and then to the great grandchildren. I talk more to them than to my own children. I wanted to protect my children.

Every Shabbat I am with one of my grandchildren. I think I am needed by my grandchildren — from the minute they are born I spend time with them.

Dov helped me to spread my story. I think we have something very similar. We are both very outgoing. We use Tik Tok.

Dov came to me and said he could find the soldier who signed my bank note. I couldn’t believe it. I laughed. But he found the soldier’s family — it was amazing.

Then it gets to the whole world.

TikTok is not for our generation. It’s for the young. And I get to talk to the young people. Dov could help because we have a good relationship. It has made us closer, of course. And in a way it made me more open, in a way I could not be with my children.

I think I understand Dov, and I see he understands me.

It is very comforting because if this was not happening, then my story finishes with me.

But like this, with Dov, it will continue, and it will not get forgotten so quickly.

Lily Ebert and Dov Forman were talking to Keren David  Their book, Lily's Promise was published last week by Pan Macmillan