What were you doing in 2005? Here are some of the highlights of what I was up to. I murdered my lying, cheating husband and buried him under our concrete floor, which was conveniently being dug up at the time. I pretended that he was alive for a number of months. Sometimes I would drunkenly talk to his dead body in the small hours of the morning. I tried to frame another woman for his murder.
My stepdaughter, who was also my best friend, became increasingly suspicious that someone had bumped him off, but I kept lying to her face. Deceiving everyone began to take its toll and finally I made a getaway with my young lover to Stansted Airport to start again with him in an exotic location. Unfortunately, my stepdaughter and the police caught up with me and placed me under arrest as I was about to step on the plane, while she punched me in the face for good measure.
Exciting times, huh?
Obviously this was not my Tracy-Ann Oberman 2005 activity, but that of my alter ego at the time: Chrissie Watts, the second wife of Britain’s biggest soap villain, Dirty Den of Walford in Britain’s top soap opera EastEnders. Between 2004 and 2005, I spent so long being Chrissie that sometimes her life felt more real than my own.
Nineteen years is a long time and a lot has changed since then. In 2005, Israel withdrew from Gaza, a peace initiative with the backing of 60 per cent of the Israeli population. What a time of hope that was. If Gaza had thrived as a peaceful neighbour to Israel, everything would be different. The Palestinians would probably have a state of their own. Thousands of people would still be alive. The world would be a safer and more peaceful place.
In a soap opera, there’s no room for peace and quiet. But why does the Middle East have to be like Albert Square? The neighbours in EastEnders are never going to live in harmony, that’s the nature of drama. Is it too much to expect that nations can behave differently?
Of course, the horror and tragedy of October 7 and its aftermath is far too serious to reduce to a soap opera. But the world’s reponse is very similar. Israel is cast as a big, bad villain – the Dirty Den, if you like. Automatically, its opponents are the “goodies”.
But that’s a superficial reading, with no understanding that behind many villains are traumatised and frightened victims. Few people set out to be baddies; they tend to turn into them. As an actor, you know that your character is shaped by their life stories. I loved that Chrissie was both a victim and a villain. There was plenty of complexity there, and the audience felt it and responded to it. In the case of Israel, however, there is no such understanding, even though it is the good guy in the equation.
In standing up to antisemitism and misinformation over the years, I am some people’s hero, some people’s victim and certainly some people’s villain. I’d love to give up that particular role because we’d obliterated hatred against Jews. Can I dare to hope that might ever happen?
When I left Albert Square, I never knew if I would return. Whenever I was asked – and it was often – I would always give a knowing smile and say, “never say never”. Earlier this year, I got a phone call from the exciting new executive director who gave me a storyline I couldn’t refuse. So I am back on BBC1 in Albert Square as Chrissie Watts for an explosive storyline, starting at the beginning of September. Sometimes endings are never really endings.
Returning to Chrissie is a joy. She’s a deep character. She has a dark side, for sure, but she’s also a survivor. Villainy aside, when finding resilience in my acting, I have one source to draw upon.
The Jewish people.
