The Great Challah Make was a wonderful gathering and sheitels off to the organisers for the entire Shabbat UK event. However, it's worth reflecting a week or so later about what it lacked - and why we mustn't make the same mistake next year, in particular, the speeches that descended into parody, and the role of women, too.

Chief Rabbi Mirvis was cheered like a rock star and thanked for making time in his busy schedule to turn up. Only a man, or a woman with paid staff, could have set the date for this global project. On the first Shabbat after a series of three-day yom tovim that required huge amounts of shopping, cooking and entertaining, women were asked once again to bring people into their homes and cook up a storm.

Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi, apparently voted one of the most influential religious women in Israel, was introduced as the guest speaker. With evangelical zeal and a haughty smile, she assured us that this holy gathering of women (and the smattering of men) had the power to change the world. Her trite platitudes were nauseating, assuring us that our prayers would open the skies and land in front of God's throne. She led the women in hafrashat challah, the blessing on separating a small part of the dough to be set aside as a symbolic reminder of the dough given to the Cohen (High Priest) during Temple times. Demonstrating with rather sensuous hand movements, she said that, as we separate a piece of dough, God is with us.

She suggested it was a good time to express our gratitude to God and to reflect on how we can improve our relationship with our husbands and children. She surveyed the room, smiled again and, in one fell swoop, mocked us all. "Where is feminism here?"

Rabbanit Mizrachi's framing of women's lives was disturbing and patronising. Positing feminism as anti-family is inaccurate and decries the complexity of women's lives as they juggle so many demands. If women are the key to the Jewish home, and central to ensuring that a Shabbat atmosphere is created within the home, why we were being infantilised and belittled?

Just why are women being so belittled and infantilised?

In aligning itself with the Shabbos Project, is the United Synagogue transforming itself into a kiruv (outreach) organisation, trying to enter an already crowded market? I would argue it's the wrong approach: while "dumbing down" lowers the barrier to entry, it also alienates the more serious and reflective thinkers who will recoil at the primitive antics of those like Rabbanit Mizrachi.

It is worrisome indeed that the leadership of United Synagogue Women considered it appropriate to join an initiative that showcased the Rabbanit.

Shortly after I arrived home, I looked at the United Synagogue Women web pages on the US site. I was encouraged by Lauren Hamburger's article about her Shabbat table.

"We looked into what was halachically permissible for women to do as well. I now say the brachah over the challah, cut and distribute it to our guests…" Further, she discusses the mitzvah of zimmun - the invitation to say Grace After Meals. If at least three women are present (and no men) the women can say the zimmun.

"This has become more common and the text can be found in the United Synagogue's siddur. At our annual US Women's Dinner it was led by Rebbetzin Rachie Binstock and was very affirming to hear the packed room respond to her invitation to bensch and give thanks for our beautiful meal."

Why, then, did the booklet branded with the Chief Rabbi's Shabbat UK logo, explain that three men make a zimmun but made no mention that three women are equally obligated to do so? Some may consider this trivial but the exclusion is symptomatic of the challenges faced by women who want greater participation in ritual life - the women who want to make their challah, and eat it too.