So they say that the Jews control Hollywood.
Most of the time, we would take that as an insult - zionist conspiracy, yada yada yada. This year, it's not far off. Because the 83rd Academy Awards are basically a who's who of Jewish showbiz - you've got your Portmans and your Coens, your Seidlers and your Francos. Will Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan beat Sorkin's Social Network? Which Jewish actor (Eisenberg or Franco) will be celebrating with one of those trophies later tonight (or tomorrow morning, depending on your time zone)?
The glamorous, the beautiful and the over-botoxed will be arriving on the Red Carpet in about an hour. Stay with The JC for news on who wins what and who is snubbed, not to mention gossip about the gowns, sarcasm on the speeches and the top Oscar Tweets out there. Also, let us know what you think of the results, the expressions and Anne Hathaway as a presenter by commenting below or tweeting us at @jewishchron.
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04:42
Ok, that's it. Must. Sleep. Or move to Los Angeles - one of the two!
04.36: Best Film
Finally, the biggun. (And bed, for me).
Yep, you've guessed it, that one about the stammering monarch. The King's Speech has picked up four awards tonight (only one thirds of what it was nominated for).
04.28
While Colin drones on, another top tweet from @BorowitzReport: "BREAKING: WikiLeaks Releases 140,000 Pages of Aaron Sorkin's Original Acceptance Speech"
04.23: Best Actor
Oh Sandra Bullock, aren't we all waiting for Jesse Eisenberg to accept us as his friend on Facebook? Well, all except for the winner - Colin "big surprise" Firth.
04.14: Best Actress
Well, obviously. Natalie had to get it. I mean she bled, danced, AND she's pregnant. Winning combination. Can you imagine if she hadn't won? How cruel, to pretend something like that to the mother-to-be, then snatch it away at the last minute for the actress who played a lesbian. Of course the Academy wouldn't have done it.
IN PICTURES: Natalie Portman: a life on film
04.04: Best Director
Not a good night for either Darren Aronofsky or the Coen Brothers then. Tom Hooper definitely wasn't expecting to win though, judging by the fear in his eyes as he makes his acceptance speech.
Bit of a shocker, that. Don't get me wrong, The King's Speech is a fantastic film. But I'd say its strengths lie in the script and the acting, not so much the direction. Whereas Black Swan and The Social Network are all so interestingly shot. Seems a curious choice - perhaps because everyone put the film down as their second choice when they voted?
04.00
Jealous: Ben Mezrich tweets: "Man it's fun here! Fingers crossed for fincher!!! Then on to Madonna and Demi moore's party! Boston in da house! :)"
Nice life if you can get it. But the emoticon ruins the effect.
03.47: Best Song
Randy Newman (Jew-Ish) gets his second trophy (after 20 nominations) and proceeds to give a bizarre, possibly intoxication spiel about being good television and why there should be more people up against him. OK. Look, I get it. It's late, he's tired. And he knows nobody is listening anyway - this is a "make a cuppa" award.
03.30
A (heavily-botoxed?) Billy Crystal shows the newbies how it's done, with a nice little Bob Hope montage: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Academy Awards. Or, as it's known in my house, Passover."
03.22
Um, no financial executives gone to jail? Hello, Bernie Madoff would probably disagree.
03.16: Best Documentary Short
Tel Aviv set film Strangers No More about the Bialik-Rogozin School and its blend of cultures wins an Oscar. Nachas for the families of Karen Goodman and Kirk Simon. WATCH a clip of the film here
03.12
Do Mila and Justin have new competition for Most Attractive Hosting Couple? Jake and Amy are putting up a good fight.
03.07
Ooh, Zachary Levi. I (now) know EXACTLY who he is, thanks to my wonderful wikipedia skills. Didn't have him down as a crooner, though.
03.03
Am I hallucinating (possible, it's quite late), or was that POTUS in the house? It's clearly Sorkin's influence
02.58
Thanks to Twitter, I have been humbled. Twas Lora Hirschberg who won, not Laura Hershberg. Still, earlier comment still stands.
02.54
Who is James Franco calling a nerd? Hello, has he seen what he looks like in Howl?! READ AN INTERVIEW WITH JAMES FRANCO here.
02.53
So, nothing for the Coen brothers yet. Is that because the Academy couldn't actually understand a single word Jeff Bridges said in True Grit?
02.47: Sound Mixing
Laura Hershberg? Gotta be Jewish somewhere along the line, right?
02.44: Best Score
Another one for The Social Network. I do believe new media is beating old royalty in the cross-Atlantic Oscars race.
02.42
New top Tweet, from @Gawker "Drink every time someone mentions that Melissa Leo said a swear. You'll be dead by the end of the show". True. Not that this blog condones either drinking or swearing.
02.27: Best Foreign Film
Danish Jew Susanne Bier, looking lovely in a shiny dress, picks up Best Foreign Film for In a Better World.
02.23
So, two writing awards, and both go to Jewish writers. Not bad. But one was more polite than the other: as @JeffJarvis noted: "He could thank the f***ing Queen but Sorkin couldn't thank Zuckerberg."
Tut Tut Mr S. Snubbing the person behind your creative genius is exactly the stuff great movies are made of. As you probably know.
02.18 Best Original Screenplay
David Seidler!!! Mazel tov (this in a category where we could say that to three fifths of the nominees)
02.15 Best Adapted Screenplay
Sorkin!!! First Jewish win of the night!
Well done to Mr S and The Social Network. First Oscar for him, and much deserved. Love how, even in his speech Sorkin sounds so witty! "Armie Hammer, and Armie Hammer again".
Plus, how cool does Roxy (his daughter) sound.
02.06
Mila Kunis and that bloke who used to be in N Sync. Definitely the most photogenic presenters yet tonight. Franco and Hathaway, step up your game.
02.02
Kirk Douglas' entire life has been leading up to this moment - the one where he and another ageing actress inappropriately flirt while at a major awards ceremony. Let's start the campaign #Kirk to host in 2012 now.
01.55 Best Supporting Actress
Kirk reveals...Melissa Leo. Aw, poor Hailee Steinfeld, she looks too adorable in her princess outfit. But let's be honest, Mila Kunis was robbed by not getting even a nomination for Black Swan.
01.53
DID YOU KNOW Kirk Douglas' real name is Issur Danielovitch. Nice Jewish (somewhat elderly) man. Beef between him and Australia though. Are we sure this is actually Kirk Douglas, amd not just a drugged-up James Franco posing as him with clever CGI technology?
01.47 Cinematography
Inception gets it. The winner is having some kind of panic attack on stage, though.
01.43: Best Art Direction
Not a big one for Jewish Hollywood. But mazel tov to the Alice crew. I'm sure your grandmothers are also shlepping nachas right now.
01.40
Yep, confirmed. James Franco is not a comic actor. Nor should he be. But nice that he brought his nana with.
01.35
It's started. And yes, James Franco was just dressed in a bear suit. Such a serious actor, that one...
01.20
Random point made on Twitter by @themanwhofell: "Four of the five Best Actor nominees have names that begin with J. I don't know what this means, but I imagine it is important."
In this blogger's humble opinion, names which begins with J are superior to all others. But, I think, the C has it for tonight...
01.13
Aaron Sorkin could win his first Oscar ever tonight, but let's be honest, if West Wing had been a film...Two Cathedrals is definitely better than any of the film's nominated tonight!
IN PICTURES: The rise of Aaron Sorkin
Plus, because it's AWESOME. The Best Picture nominees (full list here) as reinterpreted in Lego form here.
01.09
As pointed out by the Grazia twitter team, Nicole Kidman is the only celebrity who is wearing Dior after the John Galliano controversy (read more about it here)
12.58
Natalie Portman is talking the "magical" shoot for Black Swan. "It was such a deep experience," she drones. Whatever else she does or doesn't win tonight, she gets the nod for Most Boring Red Carpet Chat.
12.36
Ben Mezrich, who wrote The Accidental Billionires (the book The Social Network was based on) is on the scene. He just tweeted: "At the oscars!! Kevin just metioned me on red carpet". Nice. Read our interview with him here
12.24
Steven Spielberg and daughter on red carpet. "This is pretty amazing", she says in a tone that suggests anything but. Ahh, the glam life of the kids of the rich and famous
12.17
Tonight's dead cert for Best Actress, a super preggers Natalie Portman, is in the house. She is wearing a dress by Rodarte, it appears.
IN PICTURES: Natalie Portman: a life on film
12.10
It seems Justin Timberlake also brought his mum. What is it with these Social Network boys? And where is Mrs Garfield, I'd like to meet her.
12.05
Take a look at the background when the stars are interviewed. Everyone who isn't posing on the red carpet has dark hair, glasses and looks like a geek. Jewish conspiracy, much?
23.59
Zachary Levi "performer". I'm guessing Jewish, but what is he famous for?
*Wikipedia explains: Zachary Levi Pugh (born September 29, 1980), better known by his stage name Zachary Levi, is an American television actor and director known for the roles of Kipp Steadman in Less than Perfect, Chuck Bartowski in Chuck, and Flynn Rider in Tangled.*
Scarlett Johansson is rather less pouty than usual (wearing red lace Dolce & Gabbana). Perhaps down to her break-up with Ryan Reynolds?
23.57>
Has Jesse Eisenberg brought his mum as his date to the Oscars. Given how awkward he looked walking up the Red Carpet, I suspect he's not going to win tonight - was playing Mark Zuckerberg really a stretch? Nerd on screen, nerd in real life?
23:50
First top Tweet of the night: @BorowitzReport "#Oscars Fact No matter who wins Best Picture, the Winklevoss twins will sue them"
Read an interview with Ben Mezrich, author of the book The Social Network was based on
23.37
Apparently Mila Kunis, of Black Swan fame, is wearing something lavender. While you're waiting to see it, look through some classic dresses of Oscars past: IN PICTURES: Oscar dresses over the years
23:26
Here we go. True Grit's teenage female star Hailee Steinfeld has arrived on the red carpet, wearing a Marchesa dress that she helped to design.
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In the meantime, remind youselves of this year's Best Picture nominees (full list here) with this video of them reinterpreted in Lego form.
And have a look at what the Jewish half of the hosting couple, James Franco, had to say this morning in his self-shot video on his Oscar spot. I think you'll agree, he's not going to have Darren Aronofsky quaking in his director's chair.
Refresh this page to see the latest Oscars news and more from 11.30
Full Red Carpet coverage here
