Get your hankies ready. Osama bin Laden's son Omar - the one who married a publicity-hungry British grandmother 24 years his senior in 2007 - is busy hawking his autobiography.

In an excerpt run by Vanity Fair, we learn that poor Osama had an unhappy childhood!

Despite the fact that his stepfather was one of the finest men in Saudi Arabia, my father’s life did not evolve as he wished. Like most children of divorced parents, he felt a loss, for he was no longer as intimately involved with his father’s family. Although my father was never one to complain, it is believed that he keenly felt his lack of status, genuinely suffering from his father’s lack of personal love and
care.

That's 9/11 explained then.

We are also treated to the details of Osama's "musklike scent", mathematical genius, love of football, and worst of all, the fact that

when I was very small, there were times that he and my mother secluded themselves in their bedroom, not to be seen by the family for several days, so I know that my father enjoyed my mother’s company.

Ugh.

But then there's this:

You might have guessed by now that my father was not an affectionate man. He never cuddled with me or my brothers. I tried to force him to show affection, and was told that I made a pest of myself. When he was home, I remained near, pulling attention-gaining pranks as frequently as I dared. Nothing sparked his fatherly warmth. In fact, my annoying behavior encouraged him to start carrying his signature cane. As time passed, he began caning me and my brothers for the slightest infraction.

Oh dear. Just when I was beginning to warm to him....