Did you hear the one about the American synagogue that arranged a Yom Kippur lunch for young adults?

I know — hilarious or what? Not surprising that the organisers got well and truly mocked online.

And yet, maybe, just maybe, they had a point. After all, many people my age simply let Yom Kippur pass without so much as a shul visit. Maybe it’s my super-progressive upbringing or the fact that I live south of the river (excuses, excuses), but there are few days that seem less enticing for squeezing into the pews than Yom Kippur.

And I know that’s the point, the idea of self-sacrifice and minor punishment is not lost on me, but there’s something almost clinical about the way that apparently sitting through two hours of services on an empty stomach means my sin clock is reset to zero.

If only there was something to entice me to come along. How about… a catered lunch? At least I’d be able to ruminate about the past year alongside my peers, and surely any chance to engage people under 30 has to be a good thing for the future of the community as well as for our souls. What do you mean it’s treating us as though we were children? Shut up and pass the bagels.

Yom Kippur is a funny time, isn’t it? We spend great chunks of time throughout the year trying to do our best, performing small mitzvot in our day-to-day lives and generally striving to live our menschiest lives. But inevitably the small slips become bigger and by the time September rolls around, the majority of us have accrued enough to do some serious atoning.

What’s more, the list of sins are in serious need of an update to include sins of the phone. Separated by distance and a rectangular piece of glass, many of us find it easier to act in ways we’d never dream of in person, and therefore should probably specifically atone for. Here are mine — I’m sure you can add your own.

Not texting family enough
Every now and again, perhaps after watching a film that makes me truly appreciate the finite and slippery nature of life, I’m wracked with such intense guilt about keeping in touch with my parents that I have to immediately call them to show I care.

The rest of the time I’m not only forgetful about returning calls, but sometimes can’t even be bothered to return a text with more than a one-word answer. Call your parents more, they’ll only ever be glad you did.

Ghosting
Now, I’ve never been a ghoster, more of a chronic over-talker to the point of scaring someone away, but regardless, ghosting is one of the greatest digital sins there is. For the uninitiated, it’s when you’re no longer romantically interested in someone and instead of telling the person, you stop all communication, drifting off into the ether. It’s a lazy, selfish and callous act that’s as unfair as it is avoidable.

If you must, you can do what I used to and copy and paste the same “sorry I’m not interested” message from notes app. Because at least that’s something.

Publicly calling out brands for poor customer service
I get it. Your Hermes parcel said it showed up when it didn’t and the company won’t give you a refund and now the day is ruined.

Trust me, I understand it. I once did a thread of angry tweets at BA when they delayed a flight home from Barcelona, calling the poor customer service rep an imbecile for something that was never their fault.

Like so many of these sins, remember there’s a human on the other end of the screen and realise that you’re the digital equivalent of a toddler throwing rusks out of the trolley in the middle of Sainsbury’s.

Being vain on Instagram
You might think that the whole point of Instagram is to show off the most aesthetic parts of your life, completely ignoring anything that doesn’t fit the brand you’re trying to create in your own microinfluencer world, and you’d be right.

But in doing so, you are contributing to this fairly toxic world in which everyone is pretending to be something they’re not and you constantly think you’re missing out just because you’re only seeing other people’s highlights reels and never their average Tuesdays eating leftovers. If only we all just were a bit more honest, the world would be a better place.