I'm looking forward to tonight because I'm going to review Sarah Silverman in concert at the Hammersmith Apollo for the JC. This is exciting for two reasons. One, I get to see whether Silverman really is, as per her reputation, one of the funniest comedians on the planet. And two, there's a chance I might meet a woman. I mean, I'm bound to meet women - after all, they comprise half the world's population - even if it's just the briefest of exchanges with the girl in charge of the guest-list or the lady who shows you to your seat with a torch. Do they still have those? I sincerely hope so. But will I, you know, Meet A Woman, one I can invite to my parents' flat on high holidays? Gigs can be good places to strike up conversations with complete strangers, especially when you're brandishing a notepad and pen in a deliberate attempt to get females to ask, "Why are you brandishing a notepad and pen?" Actually, they're probably more likely to say "hold" than "brandish", but it's good to have high expectations.
Then again, what's the likelihood of meeting a nice Jewish girl at a Sarah Silverman show? Slim, like Silverman herself. Because from my experience - only vaguely empirical, I'll admit - Jewish women don't usually find Jewish comedians very funny. I knew one who refused to watch Woody Allen films on the grounds that he was a self-absorbed neurotic, narcissistic nihilist, to which I'd airily reply: "And your problem with that is...?" Another refused to be in the same room whenever Curb Your Enthusiasm came on TV. "Too Jewish" was the gist of her criticism. Maybe the audience will be full of Jewish men, then. Still, some of them are bound to have sisters. Better get my notepad and pen ready...