Thinking about recent depressing world affairs, many of us want to switch off the news and look for solace and respite away from doom scrolling. And there’s no better tonic than ’80s romcoms. There’s something about that decade that lends itself well to the genre — and of all of them, the scandalously underrated Crossing Delancey is simply the best — and the perfect medicine for Jews.

Crossing Delancey was directed in 1988 by the late Joan Micklin Silver, whose 1975 Hester Street (starring Carol Kane) tackled Jewish assimilation in New York at the turn of the 20th century. While so many romances focus on love across cultures, Crossing Delancey extols the benefits of marrying in.

It stars Amy Irving as 30-something singleton Isabelle (Izzy), who is assimilated and enjoying a dream job at a trendy bookstore, rubbing shoulders with Manhattan’s literati and her well-read colleagues (including a young David Hyde Pierce, later to play Niles in Frasier).

Frustrated at Izzy’s laissez-faire attitude to marriage, her Bubbe, Ida Kantor (played by Yiddish theatre doyenne Reizl Bozyk) decides to take matters into her own hands and in true Fiddler On The Roof-style, hires a matchmaker who brings Izzy into the path of humble pickle store owner Sam, played by an adorable Peter Reigart.

Izzy is initially mortified, seeing the whole practice of matchmaking as old-fashioned and parochial, as well as being unimpressed by Sam’s less-than-glamorous line of business.
While we’re rooting for Izzy to snub the flirtatious Dutch writer Anton Maes (played ironically by halachically Jewish actor Jeroen Krabbé) and choose Pickle Man, it’s not just the plot that keeps us watching — but the women in the film, with whom we just want to spend time. Random scenes pop up like bonus prizes, offering little glimpses into their lives.

There’s the relationship between Izzy and her endearingly bossy Bubbe. Whether Izzy is lovingly tweezing her grandma’s chin hairs, or asking her to interpret her dreams, it evokes a side of Jewish family life rarely seen on the big screen. And there’s busybody matchmaker Hannah Mendelbaum, played by a scene-stealing Sylvia Miles (Oscar-nominated for her brief role in Midnight Cowboy, she also cameoed in Sex and the City as an old lady who sprinkles lithium on her ice cream).

Her relationship with Ida consists of playful banter and rudeness, and their plotting and scheming around Izzy’s love life features a brief Tarantino-style aside about Hannah’s husband, who it is implied committed suicide. “He never stuck around to tell me [why],” Hannah muses matter-of-factly, before turning the conversation back to the main plot.
Peter Riegart makes a brilliant turn as the hapless — but never pathetic — suitor Sam, who is undeterred by Izzy’s fickle treatment of him (and eventually brands himself a “schmuck” for putting up with it). He’s not exactly suave and seductive, but he’s safe, reliable and sweet, making us all rethink what we want in a partner.

This is the emotional heart of the film — and its deeper message to assimilating Jews. 17-year-old Baby Houseman in Dirty Dancing might have wanted excitement and adventure, but world-weary, 33-year-old Izzy learns that there’s something to be said for these “nice Jewish boys” our grandmas are always trying to set us up with. (“How do I talk to Isabelle?” is one of the most underrated romantic lines in film history.)

My favourite scene is when Izzy and her friend are at a hotdog place on her birthday on a bustling Manhattan evening. In swans an elderly busker (played by Broadway veteran Paula Laurence), dressed in tattered glad-rags and heavy stage makeup, looking Gloria Swanson-esque. She plops her money tin on the counter and belts out a ballsy rendition of Some Enchanted Evening. On the surface it appears like just another night in New York, and the colourful characters one might encounter.

But the way that the scene is shot — the camera creeping in on her heavily-powdered face and sad eyes as she draws out the final line (“never… let… him… go….”) — is incredibly moving, almost like she’s a messenger who’s been sent to implore Izzy to choose pickles over poetry before it’s too late.

As welcome as a slice of babka on a rainy Sunday afternoon, Crossing Delancey is an 80s Jewish classic that deserves more of a reputation.