For a careful reader of biblical text, it is not difficult to see the obvious contrast in the way that Joseph is described when with his brothers and the way that he is perceived by his father. Among his brothers he is called a na’ar, a pejorative term for a “youth”. In the very next verse he is his father’s ben zekunim, literally, “a son of old age”. These two descriptions could not be more contradictory.

Joseph’s childishness is described by the commentators. He is impulsive (Sforno) and materialistic (Rashi). He seems intentionally to offend and antagonise his brothers when he tattles on them and then taunts them with dreams of dominance. 

As a ben zekunim, on the other hand, he is portrayed as a mature caretaker, who tends to the needs of his father and serves as a liasion between the sons and the father (according to the commentator Kli Yakar).

These contrasting sides to Joseph’s personality cause confusion as to who he really is. This perhaps explains why Jacob lovingly dotes on him and the brothers enviously hate him.

In truth, Joseph as an archetype resonates with today’s youth more than ever. In past generations, general life stages were infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood and old age. However, in recent years psychologists have seen that there is an ever-growing gap between adolescence and adulthood.  It’s called “emerging adulthood”.

This stage now lasts roughly from the age of 18 to 28. Distinctive features of emerging adults include instability and self-focus. Emerging adults are capable and bold, yet insecure and flighty.

There is much potential in young adults, but one that needs refining. Joseph required years of humiliation, slavery, and imprisonment to become a compassionate, responsible adult. 

Today, we are so afraid of exposing our children to hardship that we coddle them. But too much pampering has unintended consequences. 
They may not need the same trials as Joseph, but our children will only mature when they are permitted to make mistakes and learn for themselves the hard way. If we truly love our children, we have to let go.