By, rabbi celia surget
1 min read
ByRabbi Celia Surget, rabbi celia surget
On hearing the announcement of her impending motherhood by the visitors who have stopped by Abraham and Sarah’s tent, Sarah laughs in disbelief, unsure if such a promise can be kept, given Abraham’s age.
God, on hearing Sarah laughing, turns to Abraham and asks him why Sarah doubts that this prophecy will be realised on account of her age.
In that moment, we notice a discrepancy between what Sarah says and what God tells Abraham what she said, which could be hurtful to Abraham and ultimately lead to an argument between Sarah and Abraham.
And it is in that moment that we can appreciate just how many factors can influence the welfare and wellbeing of any relationship or connection.
The Talmud addresses (the rather subjective point of) how one should speak of a bride who is considered not to be fair and attractive and teaches that she should be praised (Bavli Ketubot 17a). In fact, elsewhere in the Talmud, it is taught that for the sake of peace, it is acceptable to stray from the truth (Bavli Yevamot 65a).
To hold someone else’s truth is a powerful thing — be it a friend, someone we hold dear in our hearts, an acquaintance or even a perfect stranger who has bestowed such trust upon us; how can we encourage them, support them, in that moment?
How do we make it acceptable and bearable for them to hear the truth when we know that truth might bring about pain? In making the decision, we will consider our peace and theirs, be it physical or emotional, and we will fulfil our responsibility.
Following the discussion on how one should speak of a bride, the sages conclude that a person’s disposition should always be empathetic. To have been trusted with an individual’s quest for truth speaks of their faith in us and their confidence that we will treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve.