The Shulchan Aruch conceives of a situation in which a minyan is split between two rooms with the prayer leader standing in the interconnecting doorway, and concludes that in such a case the two groups can be considered joined for the purpose of making a minyan.
What emerges is a very clear halachic position that requires 10 men to be in the same room (or as in the case above, interconnected via the prayer leader between two adjoining rooms) at the same time. As such there really is no scope for joining disparate individuals via the internet in order to form a minyan.
However, once a minyan has been formed, those who listen to its prayers virtually may respond "Amen" at the appropriate places along with the other worshippers. In fact, if one is unable to attend synagogue it is certainly preferable to participate in this, albeit limited, way rather than pray entirely on one's own. As the Shulchan Aruch states: "One should try to pray in a synagogue with the congregation. If because of extenuating circumstances he is unable to, then he should at least pray at the same time that the congregation prays."
So in practical terms, there are a number of situations available to you. If you can virtually connect to an existing minyan, at least during the shivah, it will enable you to pray with others and to respond to their prayers with "Amen". You can also recite psalms and the memorial prayers on your end without a minyan, and at least gain comfort in knowing that a minyan on the other end is listening and reciting these prayers along with you. What you can't do without a minyan physically present is to recite Kaddish, but you can certainly invite someone in the minyan to read it on your behalf while you listen in and respond.
 | Rabbi Jonathan Romain Jonathan Romain is rabbi at Maidenhead (Reform) Synagogue. |
It is precisely someone in your situation who could benefit most from being a member of a synagogue. Synagogues exist not for God, but for people - as is evident from the Hebrew term beit knesset, "a house of meeting" - and serve as a focal point for Jews, whether living round the corner or some distance away.
Synagogues are not just for official activities and services, but for personal events, be they happy or sad, and can provide the warmth of human company and Jewish camaraderie.
Being a member, whether you are involved regularly or sporadically, offers a way of getting to know other Jews, so that you can be there for them, and they for you. This applies especially to a shivah, which it is customary to attend even if you hardly knew either the deceased or the mourner, but are responding to another person going through a loss. As you have become conscious of your own potential need for a minyan, now is the time to start slowly building up Jewish relationships.
Of course, there is considerable debate over the definition of a minyan. For the Orthodox, it is 10 qualifying people (ie, adult males); in Progressive synagogues, women count too. We would not say that, for instance, a room full of nine men and seven women lacked a quorum of 10.
While we encourage as many people to come as possible, male and female, we would not omit the Kaddish if fewer than 10 people were present. Why penalise those who came because of those who did not?
As for Skyping into a shivah, I am not sure how helpful this is. The tradition surrounding a minyan is of individuals being in the same room, and even those standing nearby but outside it are not counted. You cannot beat jostling shoulders, a firm handshake or warm embrace.
It may be nice that an uncle from Australia shows support by Skyping in, but it would be all too easy for those much closer to do so too, saving time their end but denuding you of their physical presence. The essence of a shivah is not fulfilling a numbers game, but of giving real actual support.
So let us keep the obligation to show up in person and not encourage a convenient electronic absenteeism. Australian uncles maybe, but no one in driving distance.
