It is surprisingly difficult to define the word “blessing.” A blessing over food might be understood as an expression of appreciation for that meal. A blessing over a child might relay a parent’s hopes and dreams for their child’s future.

Saying that someone is a blessing might mean they bring good things into your life. While all these definitions are accurate, there must be another way to define “blessing” that could apply to each scenario.

In this week’s parashah, Jacob calls all of his sons into his bedroom so he can bless them before he dies. While some of the blessings he offers are perfectly lovely (“the sceptre shall not depart from Judah… nations will pay him homage”), others come across as awkward, if not offensive (“Reuben, you are exceeding in rank, but shall excel no more, for you disgraced me”).

Every blessing Jacob offers his sons reads like a telling of the future, but that’s not quite accurate. As the verse above explains, Jacob blessed each of his sons “according to their blessing”: not what he would wish for them to have, but what is fitting for them.

A son who would disgrace his father will certainly fall from grace himself. And a son who would stand up for others, will surely be served by those whom he protects. In other words, when Jacob blesses his children, he is not describing what may be, rather what already is.

In Judaism, a blessing is a full acknowledgment of another being. When we bless over an apple, we are recognising God as the creator of that fruit. When a parent blesses their child, they are called on to see, accept and love their child for who they are, not what they could be.

When we say someone is a blessing, it is most likely because that person helps us feel seen and appreciated.

Earlier in the Torah, God commands Abraham to be a blessing: “Heyeh bracha”. May we each be a blessing — recognising fully the people and gifts in our lives and how they make our world a better place.