In this week’s Torah portion we are told that that “God happened upon Balaam”.

The hallmark of the careless, irresponsible person is the notion that something “just happened”. It is not my responsibility, it just sort of happened. It is all too easy to find oneself denying culpability, blaming somebody else, or external factors, anything to avoid taking responsibility and accepting that, ultimately, we are the ones responsible for our actions.

This may sound obvious, yet it is amazing how often we find ourselves denying this feeling of responsibility for our actions. It is a huge burden, but one which nonetheless falls upon our shoulders, since our actions and decisions affect our own lives, not to mention those of others.

Rabbi Lord Sacks used to tell the story of how he visited the Lubavitcher Rebbe many years ago. Rabbi Sacks tells how “I started the sentence, ‘In the situation in which I find myself’ – and the Rebbe did something which I think was quite unusual for him, he actually stopped me in mid-sentence. He said, ‘Nobody finds themselves in a situation; you put yourself in a situation. And if you put yourself in that situation, you can put yourself in another situation.’’’

While everything that happens is divinely ordained behind the scenes, the way things are manifest in our lives means we do not just “find ourselves” in a particular situation — rather, we place ourselves there. Since we have free choice, we are responsible for what happens once we get to that place where we supposedly just “found” ourselves.

We have seen such hatred and horror this past century; the only answer is a huge dose of kindness. As a friend of mine recently saw spray-painted on the wall of a train, “Do a random act of kindness”. Indeed, there is no better way to put it. It is only through kindness to others, through “random,” unconditional acts of goodness, that we can redeem ourselves and the world around us.

Things do not “just happen”— we make them happen. The Torah tells us that every day the Temple is not rebuilt, it is as if it was destroyed that very day. Each of us has a constant obligation to improve the world around us, to participate in our own “rebuilding of the Temple”. God set up the world in such a way that it depends upon our efforts and actions. It is up to us to make it a better place for everyone.