The chupah started at 5pm. The canopy stood in a sunken garden, over a stream that had been covered with Perspex. The structure was supplied by Ars Festum and was in wood, green and white. “We didn’t want it too colourful — we wanted it to blend in rather than stand out,” says Nick, because it was set in such colourful, flowerful surroundings. The ceremony was conducted by Rabbi Neil Kraft, of Edgware and Hendon Reform Synagogue, who had known both grooms since their barmitzvah. It was EHRS’s first gay wedding and the synagogue had held a Friday-night aufruf for the couple the week before.
The text of the ceremony was tailor-made. Rabbi Kraft took time beforehand to research gay weddings and then sat with the couple, going through the Reform chupah service and tailoring it to reflect Nick’s and James’s wishes.
“We changed some of the prayers and because Rabbi Kraft knew us, his words meant a lot more,” says Nick. “We walked into the chupah to a Hebrew version of Ed Sheeran’s Perfect. We didn’t walk round each other, but we each smashed a glass.”
They felt blessed to have both their grandmothers under the chupah and were deeply moved when Rabbi Kraft put his tallit around them both during the service. A lighter moment was when the rings became momentarily mixed up — they were identical, except that one was a size smaller than the other.
The marriage document, from ketubah.com, was gold plated with Swarovski crystals. “We wanted one we could hang up,” says Nick, “as much a piece of art as a legal document.”
Nick and James wore matching Hugo Boss suits – “We wanted to stand out,” says Nick, “so we were looking for something fun, but not stereotypical. The dress code was lounge suits, with ties optional, so we went black tie, with bow ties and Louboutin shoes. The shoes were in three textures – patent, suede and a shimmery part” and they had the signature red soles.
The groomsmaids encompassed a 15-year age range, so they all found their own dresses, simply keeping to a navy colour scheme.
The dinner and partying took place in the gardens, until midnight (they flew out a 14-piece band, Club Live) and continued inside until 2am with a DJ. Sound production was by a local company, Samsa Majorca. Nick and James opened the dancing to Little Things by One Direction.
For the dinner, the couple used the hotel’s in-house catering but brought kosher meat from mainland Spain. The executive chef of the hotel had previously worked in Golders Green and understood kashrut and there was no milk on the menu. And also — surprisingly — no smoked salmon.
“I chose not to have any smoked salmon,” says Nick, “because I didn’t want to ship it in and if we had served any smoked salmon, people would have expected it to be mine.” Instead they had seared tuna, gazpacho (“for some Spanish flair”), steak and potato flan and vegetables and a parev version of the hotel’s signature textured chocolate dessert, including choc sorbet, mousse and cake.
Dinner décor included an outdoor chandelier over the top table.
Toastmaster Jamie Paskin was a vital link in the proceedings. “We weren’t going to have a toastmaster,” says Nick, “because the hotel had its own event team. We met Jamie only three weeks before the wedding. But I would recommend having a toastmaster — they do much more than just announcing — liaising between the kitchen and the band, for instance, making sure people aren’t served with food when they want to be dancing.
“There was a point in the evening when everybody was on the dance floor. It was such a good feeling — the band were incredible, the weather was fantastic and nobody could believe it when it was midnight. People didn’t want to stop partying.” Because the families had had the whole weekend to get to know each other, the party itself was relaxed and in a holiday mood.
It also helped that they had got the stress of the group shots out of the way before the chupah. They also signed the ketubah in advance, to avoid keeping the congregation waiting in the heat. The video was by Pure Love Wedding Cinema, a Majorcan company chosen because they had experience of Jewish weddings, so the couple felt confident that they would capture the big moments. The photographer, Violetta Minnick, was recommended by a friend.
Nick and James honeymooned in Hawaii and St Kitts. Afterwards, Rabbi Kraft came round to their home to affix a very special mezuzah, with a case made out of the fragments of the two glasses the grooms had smashed, which were different colours. Two glasses — like the two grooms and their two surnames — had become one.
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