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Family & Education

My wife’s last tribute

Sir Anthony Seldon remembers his wife and father-in-law, Maurice Pappworth

November 16, 2017 14:44
Anthony and Joanna Seldon
4 min read

Maurice Pappworth, the great if controversial doctor, was the most awe-inspiring person I’ve ever known. From the moment you edged into his presence, you felt that you were being scrutinised and judged, not always benignly. I met his eldest daughter, Joanna, while directing plays at Oxford in our first summer in 1974. Not until the summer of 1978 did we become an item, which meant that my first encounter with the feared Dr Pappworth could not be delayed much longer.

I met him first in the summer of 1979 if I remember correctly, at his home on Hampstead Heath. He made it very clear that he did not approve of his daughter’s new partner. It was a small consolation to learn that he was even more dismissive of my predecessor for Joanna’s affection, the film director Alex Cox. The inescapable fact was that, while my father was Jewish, my mother was not. For the next two years I saw nothing of him until we decided to become engaged. I wrote him a long letter asking for his daughter’s hand, saying that I had decided to convert to Judaism. Even this was not good enough because I could only convert into the Reform, not his own Orthodox branch. He had pronounced views on the Reform movement, as he did on most things in life, and they were not markedly positive. No matter that the man overseeing my spiritual conversion, and the person who would marry us, was none other than Rabbi Hugo Gryn, distinguished academic and broadcaster, and survivor of Auschwitz.

My parents could not understand how anyone could fail to be won over by their youngest son. They hatched a plot. When Joanna and I returned from a journey to Israel from the marriage of Joanna’s middle sister, they turned up to meet us at Heathrow, and bundled him into the back seat of their conveniently parked blue Jaguar. They gambled that the temptation of a lift to his home in Hampstead would prove too much for him to resist. They were right, but he let his disapproval of them be known by remaining silent in the back seat all journey.

After much persuasion, he agreed to come to our wedding at the West London Synagogue. But on the firm instructions of Joanna’s grandmother, he was forbidden to speak. What an odd family I remember thinking to myself but I loved Joanna, and Joanna loved her father. He gave me the distinct feeling that she was his favourite daughter of the three sisters. He photographed her endlessly as a child and spoke to her more often than perhaps he should on a whole range of issues including his deteriorating relationship with his wife. When he died in 1994, I broke the news to Joanna in the children’s playroom in our home in Bromley. I will never forget the yell of anguish that emanated from deep inside her. Joanna was always extraordinarily vulnerable and sensitive: it was as if she lacked a skin of self-preservation, and I loved her all the more for it.