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It's a dog's life alone

Popped out for a while? What does your pet get up to?

May 4, 2017 09:50
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ByMartha Richler, Martha Richler

2 min read

Your dog is an expert in (1) being adorable and (2) making you feel guilty. Dogs do not approve of your going out unless they get to go too and it is to the park and back. They are like children, only more furry. Between park visits, they will keep you at home, preferably in their basket, or watching squirrels together through the window.

If you do go out, they will bark and howl until get you back. They will unspool the loo paper and wrap it around the furniture, or roll it out into the garden where they will use it to spell out: “Help! Call the RSPCA” for all the neighbours to see. But follow these simple steps, and your dog will be much happier at home alone and less of a worry.

First, read out in a firm voice to your dog the Declaration of Dog Owners’ Rights. Article 1: The right to meet your human friends at a café and sit inside, thank you very much. Article 2: The right to watch a film without pausing at the exciting bit to take the dog out for walkies. Article 3: The right to enjoy a romantic dinner with your partner without your dog making funny faces. You get the idea.

Next, the essentials. Plenty of exercise. Give your dog a small meal and a big walk before you go out, even if this means hiring a dogwalker.