When Eman El-Husseini told her Palestinian family that she was dating a Jew, that aspect of the news was not the big deal you might expect. It was the fact that the Jew was a woman that was the most difficult part for them to hear.
“I had already disappointed my poor parents by dropping out of university to be a comedian and now I was marrying a woman. I felt so guilty; the Jewish part was not even a concern.”
Today El-Husseini and her wife Jess Salomon use their unique partnership to their advantage.
They appear on stage together as a stand-up duo, talking about their relationship, background and identities, and they also produce a webcomic about their relationship called The El-Salomons.
The comic , illustrated by London artist Jesse Brown, portrays the funny and awkward moments that arise because of their diverse union.
In one cartoon, El-Husseini manages to put off Christian missionaries by describing herself: “I’m Muslim …and gay…and my wife is Jewish,” she says. “Have a nice day,” the missionaries respond.
For Salomon, her wife’s Palestinian background was a cause for “some concern” in her Jewish family but the fact that she had told them she was bisexual meant they had been holding out for her “bringing home a nice Jewish boy.
“I think the worst thing you can do to your Jewish parents is give them that false hope,” she says.
“They didn’t think the relationship with Eman would ever be serious because she would have to tell her family.”
For El-Husseini, “no matter how progressive you are, no parent is excited about their child being gay. “I don’t think society is comfortable talking about their child being gay. They worry about what they will have to face.”
While other people raise their eyebrows at the relationship between a Palestinian and a Jewish woman, the pair who met in Montreal nine years ago, say their attraction was based on shared experience.
“We met on the comedy scene where there is a common comedic sensibility between marginalised people. We are the two most hated groups of people, Jews and Muslims, we understand each other,” says Salomon.
According to the couple, Jews and Muslims in comedy tend to naturally gravitate towards each other. El-Husseini thinks that “If someone is antisemitic they are not going to like Muslims either. Muslims are the new Jews, a little bit.”
The phone cuts off half way through our conversation and when we reconnect Salomon asks if we were disconnected because she was saying that she “doesn’t have a particularly strong connection to Israel.
“My connection to Judaism is much more routed in my synagogue and the community in Montreal,” she says.
It is something she thinks has helped alleviate any possible tension in the relationship.
“I understand the legal issues around the occupation and all of that. ”
Salomon began her career as a lawyer at the Canadian Department of Justice, and then the war crimes tribunal in The Hague.
El-Husseini, whose Palestinian family fled Kuwait in 1991, after the Iraqi invasion, tells me that at first she thought that Salomon had come on to the comedy scene to sabotage her career.
“I was convinced she was a Mossad agent. Who leaves law to become a comedian?
“I remember falling in love with Jess and thinking, ‘Oh my God what is happening?’”
Saloman adds: “Eman had never been in a relationship with a woman before so it is was totally new to her. I like to take credit for that. I tell people ‘I turned her gay.’”
They try not to fight over Israel/Palestine. While they acknowledge they are both guilty of sticking up for their own side, they share a desire to understand the how the other one feels.
“At the start we didn’t know each other that well and we were partial to our own sides of the story.
“One of our first dates was going to see the movie The Gatekeepers about the Shin Bet and former Mossad agents.
“We loved it but we perceived one scene totally differently and we were arguing about how we perceived it,” says Salomon.
The argument got so heated that the couple went back to the cinema the same day to watch the film again so they could understand each other’s point of view.
“We went back and obviously I was right and we have lived happily ever after,” El-Husseini says.
“No but seriously, of course we were partial to our own sides, but I have always been really aware that Jews needed a safe haven and that antisemitism is a real thing and problem in society.”
For El-Husseini, who has performed in the West Bank and Israel, it is important to challenge the stereotype that Jews and Muslims hate each other.
“As soon as we are together and we hang out we are the same person.
“We are naturally told we can’t get along but actually we are always drawn to each other and we have a lot more in common.”
While the pair cope with the big political issues “just fine” the only time it does get heated is when it comes to food.
El-Husseini, who loves celebrating the Jewish festivals and loves most Jewish fare, won’t eat in restaurants that describe hummus as Israeli. “I will only eat food if it is described properly.”
The couple moved to New York in the hope of making it big — a move made by many famous comedians before them.
And they certainly have something other comedians don’t have. Each other.
“It is fair to say there are not many comedic duos around let alone married ones and it is even harder to find a Palestinian Jewish pair,” says Salomon.
They are in talks about turning their stand up shows and webcomic into a reality television show or a sitcom.
“I think people are interested in relationships in general,” says Salomon.
“The dynamic of a marriage fascinates people and there is a lot of room for comedy in that.
“Our backgrounds and the fact we are lesbians is just a sort of extra topping.”
