Estee Stimler was struck with the idea for her new play Smother thanks to a snarky interaction with one of her daughters.

“We were at dinner with all my kids, and one of my daughters said that she's thinking about getting a tattoo,” says playwright Stimler. “And she knows how I feel about tattoos, so she was just pushing my buttons. My mother's a Holocaust survivor, I really don't go for tattoos. So I go: ‘Over my dead body,’ and my daughter goes: ‘It's okay, I'll wait.’ And I go: ‘If you think I’m not going to come back and haunt you...’”

Such was the catalyst for Smother, Stimler’s upcoming play about a woman whose Jewish mother returns from the dead to make sure her daughter stops dating “schmucks” and finally gets married – which is classic Jewish mother behaviour, according to Stimler.

“We think, as mothers, we always know what's best for our kids. And as I know from the receiving end, my mom is still alive and kicking and driving me up the wall with things that she knows is best for me. And now I'm driving my own daughters nuts.”

At home, Stimler, 57, is the frum mother of five and grandmother of four, but elsewhere, she’s known as a former speechwriter for corporate executives and politicians and, in more recent years, as a prolific writer of plays and musicals. She has an MA in writing musical theatre and is currently working towards a PhD, researching the mechanics of comedy in musical theatre at Goldsmiths, University of London.

Alongside her studies, Stimler is also the lyricist for a musical based on the short film The Five Wives and Lives of Melvyn Pfferberg by filmmaker Damian Samuels and has written one of a series of three short plays titled Joyfully Jewish to be premiered at the Tsitit Jewish fringe festival, alongside Smother.

Estee Stimler, 57, is the frum playwright behind the upcoming show Smother.

And with a number of other plays and adaptations still in development, the New York-born writer, whose 36 years in London haven’t softened the edges of her American accent, is just getting started.

While Stimler’s family is Orthodox, the characters in Smother are not, nor are the majority of characters she has written. Stimler actually kept her Jewishness to herself for the early part of her career in theatre, fearful of being judged or pigeonholed.

“Originally I didn't tell anybody. I mean, even though I am so Jewish, Jewishness didn't even come up in any conversation. I told people that I have a large family, so nobody can contact me from Friday to Monday. I didn't want to get into the whole Shabbat thing because I was scared,” Stimler says.

“And also with the kosher thing, I used to tell everybody that I'm on a protein bar diet, and I used to just bring protein bars everywhere. And everyone's like, ‘Oh, you're always on a diet,’” she laughs.

It was only once Stimler’s friend, Jewish producer and actor Michaela Stern – who is playing the lead in Smother and was also in Stimler’s comedic musical Strings Attached – called her a few years ago, requesting that she write something “cute and funny for our people” that Stimler began opening up to others in the theatre community about her Jewish identity – while also writing plays about it.

“I told people that I do the Shabbos kosher thing and the first thing that everybody said, Jew and non-Jew, was: ‘Can we come to Friday night dinner?’ And I have had the most eclectic Friday night dinners that you could ever imagine,” Stimler said.

But Stimler, who attends Central Square Minyan in Hampstead Garden Subrurb, says that being openly Jewish – especially as a frum woman – comes with drawbacks. Once, when a friend introduced her to someone as a writer and added “she’s frum”, Stimler said that “the light went out of their eyes”.

“I don't know what it is. There's a prejudice, you know, which is why I didn't want to tell people.”

Smother, directed by Scott Le Crass and starring Sue Kelvin and Steven Serlin alongside Stern, is scheduled for a one-night showing, but Stimler has hopes for an off-Broadway production. 

As for future works, the atmosphere of heightened antisemitism has only inspired Stimler to write more Jewish-centred pieces. “It's my way of reminding everyone why they love us. We're such cute, fun, neurotic people. What's not to love?”

Smother is on November 17 at 7:30pm at a north-west London venue. Click here for tickets