“When I did play, I wasn’t myself,” he said. “And when everyone would go out for a meal afterwards, I didn’t want to join them.” The more John withdrew from his everyday life, the more alone he felt.
Although the trigger for these emotions stemmed from problems at work, looking back, John now believes it went much deeper than that, back to his childhood. “I had been carrying baggage all my life,” he said.
When John woke up in hospital after attempting to take his own life, his wife, daughters and friends were all waiting by his bedside
And it was only then that he realised that he “needed to get better. It sounds crazy to say it, but I didn’t know what was going on until that moment.”
After a month’s stay in hospital, he was allowed to go home, and a friend suggested he went to an event at the Head Room cafe for people who had been through a similar experience to him.
John encourages people to talk about their feelings and say if they 'don't feel okay' (Photo: Jami)[Missing Credit]
“I walked in and there were a dozen people there,” explained John. “Straightaway, I felt at ease. I sat down and introduced myself and I was totally amazed by everyone who shared their story because we had, at some point, all experienced feeling lonely and unwanted. It was just so enlightening. It is not something I had talked about until then.”
The theme for this year's World Suicide Prevention Day is “Changing the narrative on Suicide” with the associated call to action of “Start the Conversation”.
For John, talking to others about how he was feeling helped him to move forwards and he encourages other struggling to do the same. “Our chats were something to look forward to each week. They were something to hold onto,” said John.
Today, he helps other people like him open up about what they are dealing with.
“If it wasn’t for Jami, I wouldn’t be where I am now,” he said. “I know it sounds cliché to say, but helping other helps me too.”
John, who lives in Kent, helps run a football class for people struggling with their mental health.
“[Being open about mental health] has given me hope for life, hope for the future and hope to my family that I’ll be around for many more years to come. I think it is easy to ignore if we notice someone doesn’t seem their usual self, but I want people to know it is important to check in on people.
“Ask your friends if they are okay, and if you don’t feel okay, know that it is okay to talk about it. It is not just okay. It is important you tell someone and talk about it to make it better.”
If you or someone you know are affected by the subjects in this article, please get support by accessing help from the services listed below.
For immediate help, ring Samaritans on Freephone 116 123 (24 hours)
Under 35’s can contact Papyrus Hopeline247
If you are having thoughts of suicide or are concerned for a young person who might be you can contact HOPELINE247 for confidential support and practical advice.
Call 0800 068 4141
Text 88247
Email pat@papyrus-uk.org
Stay Alive App created by Grassroots Suicide Prevention – download this app which provides practical support https://www.stayalive.app/
If you need support or are supporting someone who needs help, visit jamiuk.org/get-support/ or contact 020 8458 2223
If you are struggling to cope or need immediate help, contact Shout’s 24/7 crisis text service. Text Jami to 85258 for free, confidential support.
Contact Facing the Future Groups for people bereaved by suicide (Samaritans) https://www.facingthefuturegroups.org/
