Chai gives parents the right words to explain their cancer diagnosis

To mark World Cancer Day on February 4 and Children’s Mental Health Week, Chai Cancer Care has announced that it would be expanding its parent support group to help cancer patients explain their diagnosis to their children.

With one in three of Chai’s clients diagnosed with cancer now being under the age of 50, the charity said that the initiative would better equip many of them with the tools, guidance and language to help their children cope with the impact of cancer on the family.

The call for enhanced support comes as the Princess of Wales publicly shared her own experience of telling her children about her cancer diagnosis, highlighting the challenges faced by parents in similar situations.

Last March, Her Royal Highness said: "It has taken us time to explain everything to George, Charlotte and Louis in a way that is appropriate for them, and to reassure them that I am going to be okay."

Chai’s parent support group facilitator Sara Rey, a child and adolescent psychotherapist, said: “From my experience, I’ve seen the anxiety and fears of children – as well as their parents. Parents would go to the kitchen to have conversations that they thought their children couldn’t hear, whilst children had questions that they would ask me because they didn’t want to upset their parents.

“The parents were trying to protect the children, and the children were doing the same, but it meant that they weren’t communicating with one another.”

She said that children’s concerns included whether cancer was contagious, who would look after them if one of their parents died and what would happen after school if a parent couldn’t collect them if they were having treatment.

Rey said: “I have always wanted to work closely with parents when it comes to talking to their children, which is why we launched the Parent Support Group. It’s a group that provides support to families when one parent has been diagnosed with cancer.

“It helps when it comes to language, and how it is framed, sharing book recommendations or talking about the more upsetting issues, like a fear of not watching their children grow up.”

Alongside the parent support group, Chai provides the Chai in Schools initiative, which gives teachers the resources to support children in a school setting, as well as dedicated therapy services at Chai centres, including music, art, play therapy and counselling.

Victoria Portnoi, CEO of Chai, said: “The Princess of Wales’ experience in explaining her diagnosis has put a much-needed spotlight on the challenges faced by families. Chai is seeing more people under 50 diagnosed with cancer than ever before, which means there is an increasing number of children affected by a parent’s illness.

“Children know more than they are given credit for, and having the right language to communicate appropriately is essential. Chai takes a holistic approach to cancer support, looking beyond the medical aspects, to consider the emotional and psychological impact on the entire family. Our services exist to ensure that no child or parent has to navigate this journey alone.”

Chai sees some 4,500 cancer patients and their loved ones annually at its 11 Chai centres across the UK, including its flagship site in north-west London, as well as Manchester, Leeds and Glasgow.

The charity provides 70 services to adults and children, including counselling and complementary therapies.